What does sequester mean?

what does sequester mean

what does sequester mean? Mene, Mene, Tekel, Parsin. (image courtesy of wikimedia commons.)

What does sequester mean? A lot of people are wondering the definition. All they know about sequestration is that Obama whips America into a frenzy about it.

Sequestration has to do with a few billion dollars that might be automatically cut form the federal budget unless a new budget deal is agreed on. It’s a relatively small amount, yet according to Democrats, we average Americans will suffer immensely because of these cuts. They threaten long lines at the air port, dangerous cuts to defense funding, and furloughs for government employees. My question is, if there is a budget shortfall, why are the most essential programs the first to go?

Sequestration reminds me of Proposition 2.5 overrides here in Massachusetts. Some of yous backwoods folk may not know what I’m talking about. Proposition 2.5 is a Massachusetts law that stipulates property taxes in a town cannot rise more than 2.5% in a year without a special override vote. So when town employees grow unsatisfied with their Cadillac health care plan, they buy themselves a Maserati health care plan. Now the town can’t afford that without a massive property tax raise. So they go to the town residents and say, “Look, town. We don’t know how to break this to you, but there’s not enough money left in the budget for the High School football team.”

Then the town goes nuts and the major news media outlets swarm their streets. The papers print sensational headlines: TOWN CUTS FOOTBALL IN BUDGET CRISIS.

The residents cannot stand the taunting of their cross county rivals, they clamor city hall wailing, “We’ll do anything, just don’t cut football.”

The town selectmen leaf solemnly through the town ledger. Looking above his reading glasses one says, “Sorry, the money just isn’t there for football.”

Grown men start to weep. Folks mutter to themselves as they walk away.

“Wait!” Another selectman leaps up. There’s a collective gasp followed by silence as everyone listens intently. He says, “There’s a prop 2.5 override vote next Tuesday. If it passes, there may be just enough money to save the high school football team!”

Everyone cheers. On Tuesday they disconnect the batteries to every elderly resident’s car. (Old folks are always voting against prop 2.5 overrides.) The override passes. Football is saved!

Meanwhile, the town’s teachers celebrate on elliptical machines. You see, they just got one of those fancy health care plans that pays for gym memberships.

What does sequester mean?

The sequester vote is America’s Prop 2.5 override. There are too many idiot voters who can’t see through these greedy, governmental tropes. Thus, it gets played out with increasing frequency. PREDICTION: the NFL will somehow end up on the chopping block in the next sequestration battle.

The infuriating thing about sequestration is that the Constitution dictates that budgets originate from the House of Representatives. So President Barack Obama can’t stand before us and tell us all these things that he picks out to get cut. That’s Speaker John Boehner’s job. Beohner should be the one standing up telling America that Airforce One fuel is getting cut off. And that Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign is getting trimmed like the bangs on her wig. Oh, and the food stamps? No more advertising money.

But, no! Here in America it’s not the words of the Constitution that matter. It’s the will of our King. (A trend I observed after the Supreme Court Obamacare ruling in my cryptic video Will Over Word.)

BTW, I feel like a total idiot explaining how the military is held hostage in sequestration just like the football team in a Prop 2.5 override. It’s like explaining a funny tweet. You know what I mean? About explaining a funny tweet that is. Cause, like, if you tweet something funny and a person doesn’t get it, it’s stupid to give an elaborate explanation of the tweet because he’s still not going to get it. I shouldn’t even have to explain that but here I am. (I wrote “tweet” because kids today don’t even know what a joke is. Whoops, here I am explaining a joke. #meta)

So to answer the main question: What does sequester mean? It means that the citizens of the United States of America are no longer capable of self government.

You may have clicked this post wanting to know the formal dictionary definition of the word sequestration. I’m sequestering the definition of sequester in a clever attempt to drive home a powerful point.

The sheer number of people who can’t see through the charade is insurmountable. The fact that the Republican party is too timid to call the Democrat’s bluff means America has no hope.

Speaking of bluffs, Obama once said to Republicans, “Don’t call my bluff.” I just threw that out here to dispel any notions that he is a cerebral guy. Because, you see, a bluff is when you’re pretending you have a strong hand in poker but you don’t. So to literally say “Don’t call my bluff” is a tell. You’ve indicated you don’t in fact have a strong hand. WHOA! That feeling is back again. I’m explaining a joke. (I mean tweet. Nobody knows what a joke is anymore.)

The Bible records a time in antiquity when the nation of Israel was ruled by itinerant leaders called judges. (It’s in the book of Judges.) That was God’s ideal for the nation. But the Isrealites clamored for an actual king. (That story is told in the book of Kings.)

America’s system of elected presidents is near to God’s system of Judges as you can get. Yet we’ve thrown off the responsibility of self-government. Instead we yearn for a powerful leader to provide us incredible gifts no matter the expense. This irresponsibility, ignorance, and unwillingness to fight makes it clear America can no longer stand. Elections now are a give-away contest that will only end when everything is all gone.

So what does sequester mean again?

The sequester is the handwriting on the wall. Sequestration preys on our hearts clamoring for a king. Sequestration are the footprints of our nation’s feet of clay. “Mene, mene, tekel, parsin.” That’s what sequestration means.

Related posts:

One comment

  1. Anonymous says:

    I could have enjoyed a much longer article about this subject.

Write a Comment: