Tag Archive for thanksgiving

Who do Atheists thank on Thanksgiving?

Indian Illegal Immigrants

Fairness is a warped sense of justice. (image via)

Who do atheists thank on Thanksgiving? Someone asked me that and actually I kinda answered that in my post, Okay, you’re thankful, but to whom?

Without God, Thanksgiving is an absurd holiday. Read more

#BlackFriday 2015

Black Friday 2015

Better get yours before they get you!

Black Friday 2015. I’m sitting here in my secure surplus military bunker as the carnage unfolds at our nation’s walmarts. This bunker has wifi, so I’m able to access drudgereport.com to stay updated on the Black Friday casualties. It’s like a tradition around here.

Kids, stop running around the bunker! Or I’ll send you to Walmart to buy a flatscreen!

Guys, remember what your Uncle said yesterday at Thanksgiving Dinner? He said, “Welp, today is the day we’re thankful for all we have. Tomorow is the day we fight for what we don’t need.”

Some people right now are like, “How did you know my Uncle said that. You weren’t there.”

Guys, your uncle says that every thanksgiving. Every uncle says that every thanksgiving.

But nobody says it better than America’s Uncle, Eddie Fitzgerald. On his blog, Uncle Eddie’s Theory Corner, he has a picto-cartoon storyboard-script about Black Friday. Check it out here.

So happy Black Friday, everyone. Get your flatscreen before you get flattened!

Okay, you’re thankful. But to whom?

George Washington's Thanksgiving Proclamation of 1789

George Washington’s Thanksgiving Proclamation of 1789 (via mountvernon.org)

Happy Thanksgiving, guys. I hope you’re having a good time with your friends and family. Perhaps you’re rattling off all the things you’re thankful for. That’s what this holiday is all about, right? To be thankful. And thankfully, we don’t need to think too hard to come up with a cornucopia of wonderful things that we Americans enjoy.

I just got one question. To whom are you thankful?

You grammar police are thankful I phrased this question correctly. I said “to whom are you thankful?” rather than “who are you thankful to?” Well, with that, I’m thankful I don’t have the grammar police harping on me right now.

So let’s continue using correct grammar, shall we? Read more