Tag Archive for Russia

Obama Sanctions Won’t Work Because Russians are Communists.

President Obama announced new economic sanctions against Russia today. Guess what. Sanctions won’t work against Russia. They are communists! They place themselves under financial sanctions.

In fact, the Bolsheviks fought a revolutionary war against economic trade in October 1917. So when Obama orders more sanctions, they say, “Thank you, comrade.”

The New York Times reports that “Coordinated Sanctions Aim at Russia’s Ability to Tap Its Oil Reserves.” So Obama is punishing Russia by limiting their ability to drill for oil? Oh, Okay. Then what should we make of Obama’s efforts to limit the United States’ ability to drill for its oil?

I’ll answer for you since you’re too cowardly to criticize our first black president.

Obama’s punishing America.

(And I write this from my Peterbilt in the west Texas oilfield.)

I heard on the radio that Obama wants to hit the Russians by denying them access to important technologies. Could any of those technologies be related to spaceflight?

If so, we should first make sure there are no Americans still up in the international space station. Because the Russians are the only ones who can shuttle our
astronauts back to Earth since Obama put economic sanctions on NASA.

You noticing a pattern here?

Romney Predicted Putin would Invade Ukraine. Wow.

Paul Ryan wants everyone to know Mitt Romney was right. He predicted in the 2012 presidential campaign that Russia was our biggest national security threat, and they would attack Ukraine.

Paul Ryan is like, “Hey everyone, we told you so. That’s amazing right?!”
And everyone is like, *unenthusiastic arrhythmic clapping.*

And he’s waiting for a crescendo of clapping that culminates in a standing ovation, but it just dies out at two or three claps per person. But really only a few people were perfunctorily clapping, and at least one had no idea why.

Then the only noise is Paul Ryan’s heavy breathing into the microphone.
That wasn’t really a bold prediction, buddy. (Sarah Palin made it too.) Saying that Russia would invade an unarmed Ukraine is like saying the New England Patriots will defeat the Buffalo Bills. Okay, by how much? (You want to see a bold Patriots prediction, watch this video.)

When has Russia *not* attacked its neighbors?
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America, Asleep Like Jonah

This Sunday my pastor preached out of the book of Jonah. And we all got a good laugh out of God’s prophet falling asleep in the bottom of the boat during the storm.

Can we Americans really laugh at Jonah? Aren’t we a city on a hill? Yet we are rebelling against God’s commands. There’s a storm brewing all around the globe. Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran are all gearing up for war against us. It would be better for us if we were actually asleep to this storm.

But we’re not. We’re just rolling around the bilge like its a game.

Everything is a game to the over-entertained, sleep-deprived American.

Look at how Sleep is a theme in the Bible. Fools always sleep at the wrong time. For example at harvest when it’s time to work. Or most famously when Jesus asked his disciples to stay alert and pray right before his betrayal.

America found a folly worse than sleep. Entertainment.
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Russians Stockpile Doomsday Salt

Russians salt.Drudge had up this article from the Telegraph about how Russians are gearing up for the Mayan calandar December 21 doomsday and hoarding salt.(Russian residents buy up tinned goods and matches ahead of apocalypse) Here’s a curious part, germane to feedingjimmy.com

In an editorial on Friday, the Moscow broadsheet Vedomosti said the atmosphere of unease reflected something deep in the Russian character. “Your average American will run for salt and matches only under the real threat of a storm or tornado, announced by the authorities for the next day.
“Our Russian psychosis has two curious features. Firstly, that an 80 per cent Christian Orthodox society for some reason reacts to a Mayan calendar which no one has even seen. And secondly, that the end of the world is perceived as an economic crisis that can be survived on the banal level of consumption.”

Talk about cultural misconceptions. When Mr. Vedomosti sees Americans swarming the grocery stores ahead of a hurricane, he thinks we’re clamoring for salt. Nyet. Americans don’t get salt. We’re getting the infamous french toast ingredients, milk, bread, and eggs. (Actually, Egg Beater brand fat free egg substitute.)

Americans think salt is bad. Why would they get salt ahead of a storm? Americans can’t even keep their shovel through the summer, and we’re at the hardware store the first sign of blizzard.
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