Tag Archive for religion

Why Do Republicans Push For Amnesty?

This week, if you listened to Rush Limbaugh, you heard him in agony, befuddled the question: Why do republicans push for amnesty? They are committing political suicide by pushing for amnesty! Guys, I can explain why. It’s because of He who lends Limbaugh his talent. God-dddddddddd.

Specifically, the Republicans push for amnesty to reject their association with God.

Don’t get the connection? You will by the end of this post. But first you need to understand the sociological and spiritual context of the USA.

Barack Obama hates God. And the Democrats rebel against God and everything he stands for. Now the problem with rebelling against God is that he’s too far away and too invisible to attack. So the ungodly are left to attack those who in their minds stand for God. And in the Democrats’ case, Republicans stand for God.

Some people right now are like, “Jimmy, you’ve jumped the shark. There’s no way the Republican buffoons are any thing like God.”

Yea, in real life they are not like God. But we’re not talking about IRL. We’re talking about the delusional minds of liberals.

The liberals imagine a straw man Republican. This filthy rich, white, obese man even looks like a pig in his dapper pinstriped suit. He lights huge cigars with wads of cash and laughs through the smoke, slapping the back of his rich power broker friends, recalling how they swindled the poor to line their own pockets.

To top it all off this jerk married a woman, got her pregnant, and didn’t give her the choice whether to carry it to term or not. Jerk.

Do you see how the straw man Republican puts a pejorative spin on God’s attributes? God is powerful. All powerful in fact. God is rich. He owns everything. God is successful. Even when they tried to kill his son, he used it to victory. Furthermore he rigged this world so that he alone has the secret plan for success. The Bible.

And to top it all off, God made woman to bear children. That is the greatest unfairness of all.

This is why when Obama decreed that woman shouldn’t pay for birth control, the Democrats took it as a slam against the Republicans. In real life, what does birth control have to do with the Republican Party? Nothing. But in the delusional mind of Democrats, it was a direct hit against God, represented by successful white men, on behalf of women, who unfairly get pregnant.

Don’t like what I’m saying? Neither do the Republicans. They don’t want to suffer the scorn of the ungodly. They yearn for a political system of cordial, honorable cooperation. Even when they are at odds with the Democrats, they want to swirl whiskey with them when the dust settles. They want to win the esteem of their opposition, like gentlemen on the 18th century battlefield, who shake hands and congratulate each other for a gallant fight.

They don’t care to win. If the Democrats are ice cream, they just want to be a different flavor. All that matters is that the juvenile in this country scream for them too. And invite them to star-studded galas. And speak glowingly of them on the evening news. And broadcast puff pieces about them on the E! Entertainment news after that. Oh, and that TMZ would lay off them.

The Republican’s problem is that the ungodly will never esteem God. So they wonder, “How can we shake this ‘God’ reputation we have and shift it to the Tea Party?”

And here’s how they do it. God is a God of Law. The Bible is full of rules. Life is full of rules that God wrote. The whole universe operates on rules, created by God to order everything. This extends from the highest heavens to the earth, to our society and personal lives. Law.

In our country, the essence of law is to be a citizen. Illegal aliens defy the law just by the nature of their existence. To advocate for amnesty would be to pass a law against Law, and so annihilate justice on behalf of “fairness.”

When the Republicans say they want amnesty they are saying they want the praise of Democrats above the honor of God. They want the will of man above the Law of God.

Amnesty is the death blow to their symbolic representation of God.

God doesn’t need to kill the Republican Party for denying him. By giving them what they want, they kill themselves.

“Like a muddied spring or polluted fountain is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked.” Proverbs 25:26

Everybody Hates Me. Everybody hopes I die.

Everybody hates feedingjimmy.com. Everybody hates me. Everybody hopes I die.

Right now some people are like, “Oh, Jimmy. That’s awful to say that.”

No. It’s not. Because now I know how the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase felt and it’s exhilarating.

But anyways, part of the reason people hate me is because of the firm stance I’ve taken that Jesus Christ is God and his revelation in the Bible is the highest truth and greatest knowledge. Read more

Mormon Melchizedek

One day, a mysterious, unnamed tipster called into Harry Reid’s office. He informed the Senate leader that Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney hadn’t paid taxes in a decade. When Mr. Reid pressed for more information to substantiate this scurrilous accusation he heard a dial tone. Welp, the only way Mr. Romney could refute this accusation was to release two decades’ worth of tax returns.

One day, I too got a phone call from a mysterious tipster. He claimed Mr. Romney is en route to becoming the Mormon Melchizedek. Read more