Tag Archive for Jesus

My Social Media Strategy

social media strategy

My social media strategy stinks. Typical of other aspects of my life, it’s a failure. (I am a failure at life.) Yet I don’t give up because of my faith and hope in God and his vindication. Until then, I feel called by God to bash my head against the wall with endurance and patience.

This is pretty preposterous I know. Everybody hates me, everybody hopes I die. This is true on twitter where I have over 1000 unfollowers. This is true on youtube where most of my videos go viral. (That is to say they make people sick and they avoid them.) This is true on Facebook where my wall is constructed of blocks. This is true on tumblr where bloggers ignore my questions and answer annon’s. This is especially true IRL. I ask people to checkout my website feedingjimmy.com. I never hear from them or see them again.

Why don’t I just give up on social media? Believe me, I’d love to. Except God revealed to me some amazing things in his Word. With it came a burning in my chest stronger than a Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Taco heartburn. Most days I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. But a positive nervous breakdown.

I must get this message out. And social media is a MEDIUM for information. My failures to this point will do nothing but prove that any traction I get from now on comes from God.

I must convey this message through any MEDIUM at my disposal. Including twitter, youtube, Facebook, tumblr and IRL. Especially IRL. So many of us are sick of hunching over a small illuminated screen at all hours of the day and night. Would you like to look into my eyes – in person – as I teach you about the food eating freedom that we have in Jesus Christ?

We’re all tired of the snide, drunken cynicism on twitter. We’re all tired of the pretentious, guilt-ridden scrapbooking on Facebook. We’ve had enough of the psudo-intellectual heel biting on tumblr. (not to mention porn. what’s wrong with these kids on tumblr. They have interior design posts then suddenly a pornographic image. Oh, sorry. It’s art.) Pinterest? I’m not even sure I’m allowed to log onto there. It’s like that magazine Real Simple. They don’t really make it clear if it’s just for women or not. youtube. I’m not going to say anything bad about youtube. But I’m sure that some people somewhere are tired of it. I guess the most sickening thing there is the shameless self promotion.

Ok. But if I use all these social media for the purpose of conveying the Gospel of Jesus Christ then LOOK OUT. And I mean the actual Gospel. Not this liberal nonsense that gets spread around today. That’s my new social media strategy. Make every thought captive and obedient to Christ. And also to emphasize this message IRL.

The Gospel: The Only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.’

only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun

NRA vice president Wane LaPierre accidentally preached the Gospel when he said “The only thing that stops a bag guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” (modified image originally by Gage Skidmore)

Two weeks after the Newtown Massacre, the National Rifle Association held a press conference where its vice president, Wayne LaPierre, preached the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Whether he knew it or not, I don’t know. Sometimes the best preachers don’t even know it. But Mr. LaPierre preached the Gospel when he said, “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”

Satan is a bad guy with a gun, Jesus is a good guy with a gun. I don’t need to tell you who wins the standoff, you can flip to the last page of the Bible and read for yourself. (SPOILER ALERT: It’s Jesus.) But how he wins is a message of good news for each one of us. It’s a message whose crux is the cross.

Barack Obama and his voters oppose this message, btw. After the Newtown Massacre, your president addressed the nation, telling us we need to “come together to take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this.” He and the Democrat party are telling you that gun control will prevent massacres.

This is a LIE! Read more

You Said “Ask And I’ll Give the Nations to You”

At church today we sang this song called, “You Said.” Well, I didn’t really sing it, because I was thrown off by the lyrics. Here’s how the chorus went:

“You said, “Ask and I’ll give the nations to you”

Oh, Lord, that’s the cry of my heart

Distant shores and the islands will see

Your light, as it rises on us”

I’m sitting there thinking, are we as a church praying that God gives us the nations? If so, what nations? America? Russia? Red Sox nation? Just one or all of them? I was not aware God just gave away nations like that. This is like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but instead of chocolate it’s nations!

Anyways, I’m driving home with my wife, and I’m like, “Honey, what does that even mean ‘Ask and I’ll give the nations to you?'”

And she’s like, “I don’t know but I didn’t sing it. It sounds too multicultural.”

See how great my wife is? She doesn’t fall for any of that multicultural nonsense. She’s carefully selected by God for me. (Bible, Proverbs 18:22)

So I was like, “Honey, it’s probly some misquoted verse where David is hiding in a cave praying that God smites all the nations rising up against Israel. What else can you expect from ignorant liberals except irony?”
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Why does anyone need an assault rifle?

why does anyone need an assault rifle?

Why does anyone need an assault rifle? To kill people. Duh. (photo courtesy of Offspring_18_87)

Why does anyone need an assault rifle? To kill people. Duh! That’s the stupidest question I ever bothered to answer. Why else would anybody get an assault rifle? To have a more expensive way to point a flashlight?

Sure there are many other weapons that can kill a man, but the assault rifle has features that make that job much easier. Especially in combat. It has a pistol grip that allows it to be held more ergonomically. It has attachments that help aim the gun and illuminate the target. Most importantly, it has a magazine that contains 30 bullets. Much better than a 6-shooter on the nightstand or the single shot in a hunter’s rifle.

Right now some people are like, “Jimmy, I don’t see the need for anybody to have that much power.”

Honey, the only reason you don’t see the need for such a weapon is because somewhere the weapon is doing its job. Even when it’s not fired. It’s called a deterrent. Violent force and the fear of violent force are part of reality. It’s not our job to change the world. Read more

Why are So many Kids Obese if So Many are Hungry?

Why are so many kids obese

“Let’s Move,” says Michelle Obama. The nation’s obese kids do the truffle shuffle.

Michelle Obama starves school kids with a meager school lunch program to combat obesity. Then she takes money right out of your pay check to feed the nation’s hungry with WIC, EBT cards, and food stamps. Does anyone else notice this obvious contradiction? Why are so many kids obese if so many are hungry? Read more

Jesus. The Ultimate Pacifist?

Jesus Pacifist

The rider on the white horse signing peace treaties. by Viktor Vasnetsov

A few of my Facebook friends linked up a Huffington Post article by Jonathan D. Fitzgerald, called “The Christian Pacifist Response to the Newtown Tragedy.” Now, I guess pacifists can be Christians too. But as I read the article it became clear that Mr. Fitzgerald and the Huffington Post commenters thought that Jesus was a pacifist. That’s stupid. It’s like saying Jesus is a vegetarian. It’s wrong and easy to disprove. Just read the Bible.

Some people right now are like, “Jimmy! How can you say that?” Read more

I love another man. We’re getting married.

With all of this talk about gay marriage, I think it’s time I come out of the closet and admit that I love another man.
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Who is the Antichrist?

So many people are turning to the Holy Bible to look for the antichrist.

But who’s turning to the Holy Bible to look for the anti-anti-christ?

The number of the antichrist is 666. The Bible says you need wisdom to calculate that number. The number of the anti-anti-christ is 1. And he gives wisdom. Can you calculate 1? Then you can know who the anti-anti-christ is.

It’s Jesus.
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