Tag Archive for Bible

The Feeding Jimmy Christmas Podcast

Merry Christmas, guys. It’s the feedingjimmy.com Christmas Podcast!

Now I know what some of you are saying. You’re saying, “Jimmy, Christmas is over.”

No. Not so. Christmas traditionally begins on Christmas. It lasts for 12 days. It ends on Three Kings Day — traditionally.

So why don’t we Christians fight to return to the traditional observance of Christmas rather than this massive commercial cumulation that ends abruptly on Christmas day?

Who has that emotional energy to fight for a return to traditional Christmas?

I don’t.

Especially not with atheists snidely telling us that traditionally Christmas is not a Christian holiday at all.

That’s the main point of the feedingjimmy.com Christmas Podcast. I mainly discuss the points of my last post, I learned about the Pagan origins of Christmas – At Church.

But I also talk about how Christmas is for hoarders.

So give it a listen!

Thanks, guys. Oh, and Merry Christmas!

I learned about the Pagan origins of Christmas tradtions at Church

 

nativity hans baldun

Nativity, by Hans Baldung. (via biblioklept.org)

 
Guys, I love it when atheists tell us Christians that the origin of Christmas actually came from ancient pagan holidays. It’s like they’re trying to drop some bombshell news to shatter our feeble religious minds.

Well, hang on to your fedoras, atheists. I got bombshell news for you. We Christians already learned about the pagan origins of Christmas… at church! Read more

Faith is not the opposite of reason.

 

faith vs reason

Does faith stand contrary to reason?

 
Faith is not the opposite of reason. I’m sick and tired of atheists on Twitter pitting faith against reason. 

They act like intellectual giants because they reject religion. They say that rather than put their faith in religion, they will use reason. You know. Like science and stuff.

Okay. Well, let me explain what atheists fail to understand about faith and reason. It highlights the deliciously ironic fatal flaw of atheists.  Read more

In the next war, America will be the bad guy. 

Some people look at world events, and say to themselves, “there’s a war brewing.”

I disagree. The war right now has long been brewed, bottled, uncorked, poured, and served up. Unfortunately, most Americans would rather fight to deny this war’s existence.

In this war the United States of America plays a part. America is the bad guy. 

For the first time ever in American history, we are the bad guy on the world stage. 

For the first time ever we refuse to take up arms to defend the cause of Justice. When we do take up arms we will fight against the cause of Justice. 

For it is written, “Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the LORD understand it completely. ” Proverbs 28:5

A Christian Response to Ferguson

What should the Christian response to Ferguson be? Well, first of all, it should be immediatly practical and based on the Bible’s wisdom. Right now as I write this, blacks are rioting in Ferguson. That’s the first challenge we Christians must take on.

We can get the Blacks to stop rioting based on the wisdom of the Bible. It’s really easy. Here’s how:

Missouri Governor Nixon should shut off all EBT cards and food stamps until the rioting stops. This will work so well that he can send the cops home and save all the overtime pay. Read more

Does Scotland’s No Vote Fulfill Bible Prophesy?

Does yesterday’s No vote for Scottish independence fulfill Bible Prophesy? A lot of people are asking that. Don’t worry. Right now I am scouring the Book of Revelations looking for some clue that the Scotts would wuss out.

But first I got to say something about Bible prophesy in general. Most ameteurs think that the dangerous part of interpeting Bible prophesy is that you might be proven wrong.

No. We professionals cover that risk by ensconsing our interpetations behind weasely conditional words such as “if,” “might,” or “probably.” That way if we get specific and time goes by and what we predict does not come to pass, we can just point to those weasle words and say we’re not wrong. The conditions of our interpetation were wrong.

Even Bible prophesy itself has weasle words.

A lot of people wondered if John the Baptist fulfilled the prophesy that Elijah was going to come back. Jesus said to them, “For all the Prophets and the Law prophesied until John, and if you are willing to accept it, he is Elijah who is to come.” (Matthew 11:13)

See? If you are willing to accept it. So if we accept it, John the Baptist was Elijah. But if we don’t, then what, Jesus? It doesn’t say.

In fact, the exact time of the Second Coming is left up in the air according to Jesus. He said, “But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.” (Matthew 24:36)

And then Jesus adds a condition to trigger the Second Coming that seems to depend on us! “And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.” (Matthew 24:14)

Now get ready. Because what I’m about to write will boggle your mind. I’m like theology’s Dr. Emmet Brown.

Bible prophesy can be cryptic at times, okay? Some might say it’s a tad apocalyptic. Perhaps there is some language in Scripture that could be taken to mean that Scotland would break away from the United Kingdom. But when I wrote this article earlier this week explicitly dealing with the subject, it somehow influenced Scotland’s voters and made that part of Scripture not be fulfilled by yesterday’s vote.

But if I hadn’t written that article, perhaps the vote would have been YES. So many people read the article, it could have influenced those historic events.

How could this be? Well, maybe some of Scotland’s Richard Dawkins types could not stand the thought the Bible be proven true so they commited voter fraud. They each voted NO to independence multiple times.

These are all just hypotheticals! Notice I’m adding an extra dose of weasle words! I don’t wan’t to be taken as a blasphemer of Scripture, so I’m not saying anything definitively.

Hey. If it’s God’s will that Scotland break away, it will happen.

It’s easy to imagine how. Maybe now the British will go back on the promises they made to Scotland. I mean, have they ever done that before? If the Brits betray Scotland, they’ll make all the gingers in Scotland mad. Gingers have anger problems.

That’s a biblical truth. Look at Jacob and Essau.

What does Scotland have to do with Armegeddon?

Back to the question we began with. Does yesterday’s No vote to Scottish independence fulfill Bible prophesy?

I think the answer might definetly be yes.

The story of human history is man’s desire to eat the fruit of his labor. That’s a theme of Holy Scripture for both the Old and New testiment. From page one to page 948 (the last page) the Bible holds up hard work as given by God and rewarded by him.

But today’s anti-Christian liberals hate hard work. All around the world, liberal governements promise people the opportunity to eat the fruit of someone else’s labor. Ironically, in the United Kingdom it’s the Labour party.

The NO vote in Scotland shows that globally, liberalism has reached a critical mass. To be Scottish, by definition, means to be so stingy that you barely eat your own fruit of your own labor for guilt of wasting food by eating it. So you would think that given the chance, the Scotts would avail themselves the opportunity to stop paying for London’s medical bills.

But they didn’t. There were enough people in Scotland who saw benefit from someone else paying for their bills, they voted to keep the gravy train running. It’s sad to see, but even America fell to that delusion. We reelected Barack Obama based on the promise of free birth control for all. We traded our freedom for a poison pill.

Liberalism is a delusion. (Or socialism, or whatever you want to call it. It’s governement replacing the Providence of God.) It cannot work. As UK Prime Minster Margaret Thatcher said, “The problem with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other peoples’ money.”

Concerning the endtimes and delusions Paul the Apostle prophesied:

The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all power and false signs and wonders, and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. Therefore God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false, in order that all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

(2 Thessalonians 2:9–12 ESV) (emphasis mine)

So is the liberalism that Scotland fell to the strong delusion prophesied by the Bible? I say it’s possible that yes might answer that question correctly.

But anyways Bible prophesy is a confusing and complex topic. And so is politics on the British Isles. As you can see not being able to understand either did not stop me from commenting on the combination of the two. Thanks for reading!

Does Scottish Independence Fulfill Bible Prophesy?

Does the Scottish vote for independence fulfill Bible end-times prophecy? Some people think I may have jumped the shark asking this. Yea, I’m amazed at myself for asking this too.

Look, no one takes a more sardonic approach to eschatology than me. I love my Christian brothers, but sometimes they are too eager to believe that current events fulfill certain apocalyptic prophecies. I consider it my duty to make fun of those ideas… in love.

And so previously, when a Bible teacher would suggest that the European Union was the resurrection of the Roman Empire, I would scoff. “Pssh! The Roman Empire went as far north as Hadrian’s wall. Since Scotland is part of the EU, you’re wrong, sir. Wrong. WRONG!”

Then I would look for something to pound repeatedly as I yell “wrong!”

But today the Telegraph reported that the yes vote for Scottish independence is gaining ground. If Scotland votes to secede from the United Kingdom, and therefore the European Union, that would make Hadrian’s wall the EU’s northern boarder. Whoa!

Right now it occurred to me that the actual stone wall that makes Hardian’s wall may not lie coincidentally with the borders of modern day Scotland. I’m prepared for some Scottish or Roman history pedant to correct me.

But the remarkable point here is not the exact lines of the border. What’s remarkable is that the iron of the Roman Empire failed to conquer the fiery redheads of the third century highlands. And now the clay of the European Union may prove too brittle for the stingy highlanders of the 21st century to suffer.

Some people right now are like, “Huh, what do you mean clay of the European Union.”

What I’m talking about is Daniel’s prophetic interpretation of Nebucanezzar’s dream of the statue. In it he predicted a future empire with legs of iron and feet of clay that did not mix with the iron. He predicted Rome.

And what else could be brittle and weak as clay besides liberalism? The Roman Empire went soft with its bread and circus. The United Kingdom went soft with its Obamacare, or as they call it “NHS run amok.”

I don’t know if “run amok” is officially part of the title. But they never mention NHS without saying it’s run amok.

Look, the Scots have deep pockets. And short arms. They are fed up with paying for England’s chavs to have their genital warts removed. The scots say to themselves, “Oi! If the filthy Londoners would stop buying Burburry hats, they could pay to treat their own venereal diseases!”

And so they want independence. Who can blame them? The city of the Westminster catechism doesn’t want to pay to remove the genital warts of chavs!

Guys, I don’t even know if that’s the reason why Scotland wants independence. I’m just guessing. The thing is that the borders of the old Roman Empire coming back.

Right now some people are like, “Jimmy, if Scotland became independent, they would still try to join the EU.”

They might, but the EU wouldn’t let them. They don’t want to set a precedent. If Spain agreed to an independent Scotland, then all those little nations wanting to be like Andorra would try to secede. Denmark would lose Legoland!

Right now some people are like, “Jimmy, where does it say in the Bible that Scotland will break from the UK?”

It doesn’t. You guys aren’t understanding me. Listen.

In the book of Revelations it talks about Babylon. But the thing is that Babylon wasn’t around when the Book of Revelations was written. Babylon was used by early Christians as a code word for the Roman Empire.

But now the Roman Empire isn’t around anymore either. So how do some Christians explain the book of Revelations if neither Babylon nor the Roman Empire exists anymore?

They say the European Union is the Roman Empire revived.

Now that Scotland looks to break away, and the old boundaries of the Roman Empire reemerge, is that explanation believable? Not yet. Next the capital of the EU would need to move to Rome and North Africa would need to be conquered by the EU.

Oh, and Libyan warlords would need to weaponize elephants.

Moses Plague Against America

Guys, today in church Pastor Daniel preached from Exodus about Moses’s plagues against Egypt. He said that each plague attacked a particular Egyptian deity.

God mocked the gods of Egypt in whom they took pride. God showed off his power and proved their gods powerless.

And of course that got me thinking about who is America’s god because it sure isn’t the great I AM. Whoever is America’s god certainly needs to prepare for a plague. God will mock that god’s power and ironically destroy it.

So who is America’s god?

Truck question. What is America’s god.

Americans don’t believe in god. Science disproved god. Whoever believes in god just believes in a nice superstition that makes them feel better. The mistaken concept of god is just there to make people better, more obedient citizens.

Since there really is no difference between all these gods who don’t exist, we need to tolerate all religions. And the best way to tolerate all religions is to desecrate the Christian one.

And there we have it. America’s god isn’t a god. It is a concept called Multiculturalism.Can’t we all just get along?

Shouldn’t we thank the one God of the Bible for richly blessing us here on this continent? It’s by his divine providence we survived to this point. Shouldn’t we look to his scripture for wisdom? After all, it’s his word which guided our forefathers.

We should. But we don’t. We tell a lie that all religions are equal and should be tolerated equally. That’s what multiculturalism demands.

The Almighty God in heaven laughs.

Okay. If tolerance is your utmost ideal, let’s see it save you from ISIS. Let’s see how well you can reason with brute beasts guided by the animalistic religion of Islam. You put the prophet Mohamed on equal footing with Jesus, the anointed one? Watch his followers feet trample your necks.

There will be blood in America’s streets spilled by Islam! Watch and see the blood flow. One stream meets another and another until there is a river of blood.

Then, will you cry out, “Can’t we all just get along?” And will that silly question change Islam’s mind? Your destruction is it’s explicitly stated goal. A roadside bomb destroys a COEXIST bumper sticker as well as any other.

America, your plague is Islam. Let’s see if your God multiculturalism is mighty to save.

He who sits in the heavens laughs; the Lord holds them in derision.
Then he will speak to them in his wrath, and terrify them in his fury, saying,
“As for me, I have set my King on Zion, my holy hill.”
Psalm 2:4

Immigration. The Wrong Side Of History?

If you have no future, how can you say that Christians are on the wrong side of history?

Homosexuality, abortion, and birth control are intergenerational suicide. Likewise, illegal immigration is national suicide.

You know all those sweet little Central American “children” you want to gather up to your bosom? They are agents of biological warfare.

Don’t pray to God if your own children get tuberculosis. He won’t hear.

Then they will cry to the LORD, but he will not answer them; he will hide his face from them at that time, because they have made their deeds evil.

Micah 3:4

Gay Marriage is Wrong

Same sex marriage is wrong

It’s amazing that the same society that bases itself on Science is too stupid to tell the difference between a woman’s vagina and a man’s anus. But here we are handing out marriage licenses so men can legally sodomize each other. No. Gay marriage is wrong.

Our government cares so much about its population that it controls what we eat and smoke. Yet the government disregards the fact that sodomy’s participants enter the diaper years early on in life. Can Obamacare really afford to pay for diapers for middle aged gay men?

To the liberals here in America, this is hate speech. Yet this alludes to ancient words in the Bible. Are you trying to say the Holy Bible is hate speech? Read more

The Problem with Public Schools

rosaedwards403

The problem with public schools is liberals who turn footnotes of American history into whole chapters.

The problem with public schools is the same problem with all America. Liberals. In fact, America’s church suffers a severe liberal infestation too. When I say liberals I mean people who misunderstand the nature of God and are disconnected from reality. The root of liberalism is ignorance.

To uproot the ignorance of liberals, let’s overhaul the American public education system. First, American students need to learn about God. Second, studying history begins an education about reality that life experience will continue.

Right now some people are like, “Jimmy, you cannot teach kids about God in school. SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!”

Well, okay, THANKS for proving my POINT! Early American students were taught to read English from the Bible in public schools before the ink on the constitution even dried. You liberals would know that factoid if you studied history. But since you’ve decided to be purposefully ignorant, God sent you the whole way, and you’re delusional now. So delusional, you imagine that the phrase, “separation of church and state,” appears in the Constitution. Read more

The Gospel: The Only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.’

only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun

NRA vice president Wane LaPierre accidentally preached the Gospel when he said “The only thing that stops a bag guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” (modified image originally by Gage Skidmore)

Two weeks after the Newtown Massacre, the National Rifle Association held a press conference where its vice president, Wayne LaPierre, preached the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Whether he knew it or not, I don’t know. Sometimes the best preachers don’t even know it. But Mr. LaPierre preached the Gospel when he said, “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”

Satan is a bad guy with a gun, Jesus is a good guy with a gun. I don’t need to tell you who wins the standoff, you can flip to the last page of the Bible and read for yourself. (SPOILER ALERT: It’s Jesus.) But how he wins is a message of good news for each one of us. It’s a message whose crux is the cross.

Barack Obama and his voters oppose this message, btw. After the Newtown Massacre, your president addressed the nation, telling us we need to “come together to take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this.” He and the Democrat party are telling you that gun control will prevent massacres.

This is a LIE! Read more

What does sequester mean?

what does sequester mean

what does sequester mean? Mene, Mene, Tekel, Parsin. (image courtesy of wikimedia commons.)

What does sequester mean? A lot of people are wondering the definition. All they know about sequestration is that Obama whips America into a frenzy about it.

Sequestration has to do with a few billion dollars that might be automatically cut form the federal budget unless a new budget deal is agreed on. It’s a relatively small amount, yet according to Democrats, we average Americans will suffer immensely because of these cuts. They threaten long lines at the air port, dangerous cuts to defense funding, and furloughs for government employees. My question is, if there is a budget shortfall, why are the most essential programs the first to go? Read more

You Said “Ask And I’ll Give the Nations to You”

At church today we sang this song called, “You Said.” Well, I didn’t really sing it, because I was thrown off by the lyrics. Here’s how the chorus went:

“You said, “Ask and I’ll give the nations to you”

Oh, Lord, that’s the cry of my heart

Distant shores and the islands will see

Your light, as it rises on us”

I’m sitting there thinking, are we as a church praying that God gives us the nations? If so, what nations? America? Russia? Red Sox nation? Just one or all of them? I was not aware God just gave away nations like that. This is like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but instead of chocolate it’s nations!

Anyways, I’m driving home with my wife, and I’m like, “Honey, what does that even mean ‘Ask and I’ll give the nations to you?'”

And she’s like, “I don’t know but I didn’t sing it. It sounds too multicultural.”

See how great my wife is? She doesn’t fall for any of that multicultural nonsense. She’s carefully selected by God for me. (Bible, Proverbs 18:22)

So I was like, “Honey, it’s probly some misquoted verse where David is hiding in a cave praying that God smites all the nations rising up against Israel. What else can you expect from ignorant liberals except irony?”
Read more

Why does anyone need an assault rifle?

why does anyone need an assault rifle?

Why does anyone need an assault rifle? To kill people. Duh. (photo courtesy of Offspring_18_87)

Why does anyone need an assault rifle? To kill people. Duh! That’s the stupidest question I ever bothered to answer. Why else would anybody get an assault rifle? To have a more expensive way to point a flashlight?

Sure there are many other weapons that can kill a man, but the assault rifle has features that make that job much easier. Especially in combat. It has a pistol grip that allows it to be held more ergonomically. It has attachments that help aim the gun and illuminate the target. Most importantly, it has a magazine that contains 30 bullets. Much better than a 6-shooter on the nightstand or the single shot in a hunter’s rifle.

Right now some people are like, “Jimmy, I don’t see the need for anybody to have that much power.”

Honey, the only reason you don’t see the need for such a weapon is because somewhere the weapon is doing its job. Even when it’s not fired. It’s called a deterrent. Violent force and the fear of violent force are part of reality. It’s not our job to change the world. Read more

Why are So many Kids Obese if So Many are Hungry?

Why are so many kids obese

“Let’s Move,” says Michelle Obama. The nation’s obese kids do the truffle shuffle.

Michelle Obama starves school kids with a meager school lunch program to combat obesity. Then she takes money right out of your pay check to feed the nation’s hungry with WIC, EBT cards, and food stamps. Does anyone else notice this obvious contradiction? Why are so many kids obese if so many are hungry? Read more

Jesus. The Ultimate Pacifist?

Jesus Pacifist

The rider on the white horse signing peace treaties. by Viktor Vasnetsov

A few of my Facebook friends linked up a Huffington Post article by Jonathan D. Fitzgerald, called “The Christian Pacifist Response to the Newtown Tragedy.” Now, I guess pacifists can be Christians too. But as I read the article it became clear that Mr. Fitzgerald and the Huffington Post commenters thought that Jesus was a pacifist. That’s stupid. It’s like saying Jesus is a vegetarian. It’s wrong and easy to disprove. Just read the Bible.

Some people right now are like, “Jimmy! How can you say that?” Read more

Bible References.

Web development team

A lot of people ask me why I reference the Bible by page number. Actually, they don’t ask me. They command me to stop, treating me like I’m some heretic who denies Science.

Here’s the thing. When you reference the Bible by page number, it sounds more authoritative. Besides, Jesus didn’t use the chapter and verse method of referencing scriptures. He just said, “As the prophet Isaiah says…” See? It’s right here on page 566.

I don’t care what you guys think about how I reference the Bible. In my mind, you should know the Bible so well that you can pick up any reference and immediately know what page and what column and what paragraph you can find that. And that page is probably all wrinkly because you fell asleep reading the Bible right on that page. #dedication
Read more

Witch hunt witch hunt

If we reincorporated the Bible back into our society and used it as the basis for our laws, there would be fewer witches in America.

Now, what I’m about to say may sound very controversial to some people, Read more