Tag Archive for Bible

Faith is not the opposite of reason.

 

faith vs reason

Does faith stand contrary to reason?

 
Faith is not the opposite of reason. I’m sick and tired of atheists on Twitter pitting faith against reason. 

They act like intellectual giants because they reject religion. They say that rather than put their faith in religion, they will use reason. You know. Like science and stuff.

Okay. Well, let me explain what atheists fail to understand about faith and reason. It highlights the deliciously ironic fatal flaw of atheists.  Read more

Does Scotland’s No Vote Fulfill Bible Prophesy?

Does yesterday’s No vote for Scottish independence fulfill Bible Prophesy? A lot of people are asking that. Don’t worry. Right now I am scouring the Book of Revelations looking for some clue that the Scotts would wuss out.

But first I got to say something about Bible prophesy in general. Most ameteurs think that the dangerous part of interpeting Bible prophesy is that you might be proven wrong.

No. We professionals cover that risk by ensconsing our interpetations behind weasely conditional words such as “if,” “might,” or “probably.” That way if we get specific and time goes by and what we predict does not come to pass, we can just point to those weasle words and say we’re not wrong. The conditions of our interpetation were wrong.

Even Bible prophesy itself has weasle words.

A lot of people wondered if John the Baptist fulfilled the prophesy that Elijah was going to come back. Jesus said to them, “For all the Prophets and the Law prophesied until John, and if you are willing to accept it, he is Elijah who is to come.” (Matthew 11:13)

See? If you are willing to accept it. So if we accept it, John the Baptist was Elijah. But if we don’t, then what, Jesus? It doesn’t say.

In fact, the exact time of the Second Coming is left up in the air according to Jesus. He said, “But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.” (Matthew 24:36)

And then Jesus adds a condition to trigger the Second Coming that seems to depend on us! “And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.” (Matthew 24:14)

Now get ready. Because what I’m about to write will boggle your mind. I’m like theology’s Dr. Emmet Brown.

Bible prophesy can be cryptic at times, okay? Some might say it’s a tad apocalyptic. Perhaps there is some language in Scripture that could be taken to mean that Scotland would break away from the United Kingdom. But when I wrote this article earlier this week explicitly dealing with the subject, it somehow influenced Scotland’s voters and made that part of Scripture not be fulfilled by yesterday’s vote.

But if I hadn’t written that article, perhaps the vote would have been YES. So many people read the article, it could have influenced those historic events.

How could this be? Well, maybe some of Scotland’s Richard Dawkins types could not stand the thought the Bible be proven true so they commited voter fraud. They each voted NO to independence multiple times.

These are all just hypotheticals! Notice I’m adding an extra dose of weasle words! I don’t wan’t to be taken as a blasphemer of Scripture, so I’m not saying anything definitively.

Hey. If it’s God’s will that Scotland break away, it will happen.

It’s easy to imagine how. Maybe now the British will go back on the promises they made to Scotland. I mean, have they ever done that before? If the Brits betray Scotland, they’ll make all the gingers in Scotland mad. Gingers have anger problems.

That’s a biblical truth. Look at Jacob and Essau.

What does Scotland have to do with Armegeddon?

Back to the question we began with. Does yesterday’s No vote to Scottish independence fulfill Bible prophesy?

I think the answer might definetly be yes.

The story of human history is man’s desire to eat the fruit of his labor. That’s a theme of Holy Scripture for both the Old and New testiment. From page one to page 948 (the last page) the Bible holds up hard work as given by God and rewarded by him.

But today’s anti-Christian liberals hate hard work. All around the world, liberal governements promise people the opportunity to eat the fruit of someone else’s labor. Ironically, in the United Kingdom it’s the Labour party.

The NO vote in Scotland shows that globally, liberalism has reached a critical mass. To be Scottish, by definition, means to be so stingy that you barely eat your own fruit of your own labor for guilt of wasting food by eating it. So you would think that given the chance, the Scotts would avail themselves the opportunity to stop paying for London’s medical bills.

But they didn’t. There were enough people in Scotland who saw benefit from someone else paying for their bills, they voted to keep the gravy train running. It’s sad to see, but even America fell to that delusion. We reelected Barack Obama based on the promise of free birth control for all. We traded our freedom for a poison pill.

Liberalism is a delusion. (Or socialism, or whatever you want to call it. It’s governement replacing the Providence of God.) It cannot work. As UK Prime Minster Margaret Thatcher said, “The problem with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other peoples’ money.”

Concerning the endtimes and delusions Paul the Apostle prophesied:

The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all power and false signs and wonders, and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. Therefore God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false, in order that all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

(2 Thessalonians 2:9–12 ESV) (emphasis mine)

So is the liberalism that Scotland fell to the strong delusion prophesied by the Bible? I say it’s possible that yes might answer that question correctly.

But anyways Bible prophesy is a confusing and complex topic. And so is politics on the British Isles. As you can see not being able to understand either did not stop me from commenting on the combination of the two. Thanks for reading!

Does Scottish Independence Fulfill Bible Prophesy?

Does the Scottish vote for independence fulfill Bible end-times prophecy? Some people think I may have jumped the shark asking this. Yea, I’m amazed at myself for asking this too.

Look, no one takes a more sardonic approach to eschatology than me. I love my Christian brothers, but sometimes they are too eager to believe that current events fulfill certain apocalyptic prophecies. I consider it my duty to make fun of those ideas… in love.

And so previously, when a Bible teacher would suggest that the European Union was the resurrection of the Roman Empire, I would scoff. “Pssh! The Roman Empire went as far north as Hadrian’s wall. Since Scotland is part of the EU, you’re wrong, sir. Wrong. WRONG!”

Then I would look for something to pound repeatedly as I yell “wrong!”

But today the Telegraph reported that the yes vote for Scottish independence is gaining ground. If Scotland votes to secede from the United Kingdom, and therefore the European Union, that would make Hadrian’s wall the EU’s northern boarder. Whoa!

Right now it occurred to me that the actual stone wall that makes Hardian’s wall may not lie coincidentally with the borders of modern day Scotland. I’m prepared for some Scottish or Roman history pedant to correct me.

But the remarkable point here is not the exact lines of the border. What’s remarkable is that the iron of the Roman Empire failed to conquer the fiery redheads of the third century highlands. And now the clay of the European Union may prove too brittle for the stingy highlanders of the 21st century to suffer.

Some people right now are like, “Huh, what do you mean clay of the European Union.”

What I’m talking about is Daniel’s prophetic interpretation of Nebucanezzar’s dream of the statue. In it he predicted a future empire with legs of iron and feet of clay that did not mix with the iron. He predicted Rome.

And what else could be brittle and weak as clay besides liberalism? The Roman Empire went soft with its bread and circus. The United Kingdom went soft with its Obamacare, or as they call it “NHS run amok.”

I don’t know if “run amok” is officially part of the title. But they never mention NHS without saying it’s run amok.

Look, the Scots have deep pockets. And short arms. They are fed up with paying for England’s chavs to have their genital warts removed. The scots say to themselves, “Oi! If the filthy Londoners would stop buying Burburry hats, they could pay to treat their own venereal diseases!”

And so they want independence. Who can blame them? The city of the Westminster catechism doesn’t want to pay to remove the genital warts of chavs!

Guys, I don’t even know if that’s the reason why Scotland wants independence. I’m just guessing. The thing is that the borders of the old Roman Empire coming back.

Right now some people are like, “Jimmy, if Scotland became independent, they would still try to join the EU.”

They might, but the EU wouldn’t let them. They don’t want to set a precedent. If Spain agreed to an independent Scotland, then all those little nations wanting to be like Andorra would try to secede. Denmark would lose Legoland!

Right now some people are like, “Jimmy, where does it say in the Bible that Scotland will break from the UK?”

It doesn’t. You guys aren’t understanding me. Listen.

In the book of Revelations it talks about Babylon. But the thing is that Babylon wasn’t around when the Book of Revelations was written. Babylon was used by early Christians as a code word for the Roman Empire.

But now the Roman Empire isn’t around anymore either. So how do some Christians explain the book of Revelations if neither Babylon nor the Roman Empire exists anymore?

They say the European Union is the Roman Empire revived.

Now that Scotland looks to break away, and the old boundaries of the Roman Empire reemerge, is that explanation believable? Not yet. Next the capital of the EU would need to move to Rome and North Africa would need to be conquered by the EU.

Oh, and Libyan warlords would need to weaponize elephants.

Gay Marriage is Wrong

Same sex marriage is wrong

It’s amazing that the same society that bases itself on Science is too stupid to tell the difference between a woman’s vagina and a man’s anus. But here we are handing out marriage licenses so men can legally sodomize each other. No. Gay marriage is wrong.

Our government cares so much about its population that it controls what we eat and smoke. Yet the government disregards the fact that sodomy’s participants enter the diaper years early on in life. Can Obamacare really afford to pay for diapers for middle aged gay men?

To the liberals here in America, this is hate speech. Yet this alludes to ancient words in the Bible. Are you trying to say the Holy Bible is hate speech? Read more

The Problem with Public Schools

rosaedwards403

The problem with public schools is liberals who turn footnotes of American history into whole chapters.

The problem with public schools is the same problem with all America. Liberals. In fact, America’s church suffers a severe liberal infestation too. When I say liberals I mean people who misunderstand the nature of God and are disconnected from reality. The root of liberalism is ignorance.

To uproot the ignorance of liberals, let’s overhaul the American public education system. First, American students need to learn about God. Second, studying history begins an education about reality that life experience will continue.

Right now some people are like, “Jimmy, you cannot teach kids about God in school. SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!”

Well, okay, THANKS for proving my POINT! Early American students were taught to read English from the Bible in public schools before the ink on the constitution even dried. You liberals would know that factoid if you studied history. But since you’ve decided to be purposefully ignorant, God sent you the whole way, and you’re delusional now. So delusional, you imagine that the phrase, “separation of church and state,” appears in the Constitution. Read more

The Gospel: The Only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.’

only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun

NRA vice president Wane LaPierre accidentally preached the Gospel when he said “The only thing that stops a bag guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” (modified image originally by Gage Skidmore)

Two weeks after the Newtown Massacre, the National Rifle Association held a press conference where its vice president, Wayne LaPierre, preached the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Whether he knew it or not, I don’t know. Sometimes the best preachers don’t even know it. But Mr. LaPierre preached the Gospel when he said, “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”

Satan is a bad guy with a gun, Jesus is a good guy with a gun. I don’t need to tell you who wins the standoff, you can flip to the last page of the Bible and read for yourself. (SPOILER ALERT: It’s Jesus.) But how he wins is a message of good news for each one of us. It’s a message whose crux is the cross.

Barack Obama and his voters oppose this message, btw. After the Newtown Massacre, your president addressed the nation, telling us we need to “come together to take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this.” He and the Democrat party are telling you that gun control will prevent massacres.

This is a LIE! Read more

You Said “Ask And I’ll Give the Nations to You”

At church today we sang this song called, “You Said.” Well, I didn’t really sing it, because I was thrown off by the lyrics. Here’s how the chorus went:

“You said, “Ask and I’ll give the nations to you”

Oh, Lord, that’s the cry of my heart

Distant shores and the islands will see

Your light, as it rises on us”

I’m sitting there thinking, are we as a church praying that God gives us the nations? If so, what nations? America? Russia? Red Sox nation? Just one or all of them? I was not aware God just gave away nations like that. This is like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but instead of chocolate it’s nations!

Anyways, I’m driving home with my wife, and I’m like, “Honey, what does that even mean ‘Ask and I’ll give the nations to you?'”

And she’s like, “I don’t know but I didn’t sing it. It sounds too multicultural.”

See how great my wife is? She doesn’t fall for any of that multicultural nonsense. She’s carefully selected by God for me. (Bible, Proverbs 18:22)

So I was like, “Honey, it’s probly some misquoted verse where David is hiding in a cave praying that God smites all the nations rising up against Israel. What else can you expect from ignorant liberals except irony?”
Read more

Why does anyone need an assault rifle?

why does anyone need an assault rifle?

Why does anyone need an assault rifle? To kill people. Duh. (photo courtesy of Offspring_18_87)

Why does anyone need an assault rifle? To kill people. Duh! That’s the stupidest question I ever bothered to answer. Why else would anybody get an assault rifle? To have a more expensive way to point a flashlight?

Sure there are many other weapons that can kill a man, but the assault rifle has features that make that job much easier. Especially in combat. It has a pistol grip that allows it to be held more ergonomically. It has attachments that help aim the gun and illuminate the target. Most importantly, it has a magazine that contains 30 bullets. Much better than a 6-shooter on the nightstand or the single shot in a hunter’s rifle.

Right now some people are like, “Jimmy, I don’t see the need for anybody to have that much power.”

Honey, the only reason you don’t see the need for such a weapon is because somewhere the weapon is doing its job. Even when it’s not fired. It’s called a deterrent. Violent force and the fear of violent force are part of reality. It’s not our job to change the world. Read more

Why are So many Kids Obese if So Many are Hungry?

Why are so many kids obese

“Let’s Move,” says Michelle Obama. The nation’s obese kids do the truffle shuffle.

Michelle Obama starves school kids with a meager school lunch program to combat obesity. Then she takes money right out of your pay check to feed the nation’s hungry with WIC, EBT cards, and food stamps. Does anyone else notice this obvious contradiction? Why are so many kids obese if so many are hungry? Read more

Jesus. The Ultimate Pacifist?

Jesus Pacifist

The rider on the white horse signing peace treaties. by Viktor Vasnetsov

A few of my Facebook friends linked up a Huffington Post article by Jonathan D. Fitzgerald, called “The Christian Pacifist Response to the Newtown Tragedy.” Now, I guess pacifists can be Christians too. But as I read the article it became clear that Mr. Fitzgerald and the Huffington Post commenters thought that Jesus was a pacifist. That’s stupid. It’s like saying Jesus is a vegetarian. It’s wrong and easy to disprove. Just read the Bible.

Some people right now are like, “Jimmy! How can you say that?” Read more

Bible References.

Web development team

A lot of people ask me why I reference the Bible by page number. Actually, they don’t ask me. They command me to stop, treating me like I’m some heretic who denies Science.

Here’s the thing. When you reference the Bible by page number, it sounds more authoritative. Besides, Jesus didn’t use the chapter and verse method of referencing scriptures. He just said, “As the prophet Isaiah says…” See? It’s right here on page 566.

I don’t care what you guys think about how I reference the Bible. In my mind, you should know the Bible so well that you can pick up any reference and immediately know what page and what column and what paragraph you can find that. And that page is probably all wrinkly because you fell asleep reading the Bible right on that page. #dedication
Read more

Witch hunt witch hunt

If we reincorporated the Bible back into our society and used it as the basis for our laws, there would be fewer witches in America.

Now, what I’m about to say may sound very controversial to some people, Read more