Tag Archive for barack obama

Car Seats for Hillary Clinton

Hillary clinton car seats

Hillary Clinton, visibly angry that Donald Trump prevents free car seats.

Guys, I’m going to make a bold prediction right here. I predict car seats will become a topic of debate among Democrats vying for the presidential nomination.

Right now a lot of you are chortling. “Pfft! Car seats?!”

Yea, car seats. You know, like for babies. Well, it used to just be for babies. But now infants, toddlers, adolescents, preteens, and even short teenagers need to sit in booster seats while riding in the car. Read more

Robin Williams was an Actor

Robin Williams was an actor. I’m not sure you guys know that based on your response to his suicide last week.

On Facebook lots of people posted a picture of the Genie hugging Aladdin. Aw, isn’t that a nice farewell? Except the Genie was a creation by Disney artisans. Robin Williams just lent his voice to the movie project. Robin Williams was an actor.

Some people updated their status with an “Oh Captain, my Captain,” quote from Dead Peots Scociety where he inspired a classroom by saying:

"To quote from Whitman, ‘That you are here – that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.’

What will your verse be?"

Wow. Such an intellectual mind must have suffered deep torment to finailly kill itself, right? I mean, just read that quote! Doesn’t it give you goose bumps?

The problem is that this quote didn’t come from the mind of Robin Williams. It was crafted by screenwriter Tom Schulman. Robin Williams read those lines from the script in the movie because Robin Williams was an actor.

Speaking of toubled minds, how about the picture of Robin Williams and Matt Damon sitting on a bench in Boston’s Public Garden? No caption was needed for an image so poignant. If he could help that troubled math genius through the tribulations of his life, why couldn’t he help himself out of suicidal depression?

Guys, it’s because he was an actor. He wan’t really a professionally liscenced psychologist. You don’t think that Matt Damon was a math genius, do you?

Right now some people have had it and they’re like, “Jimmy, we know he was an actor! We loved him for the joy he brought us. Why do you have to bad-mouth the greatest comedic genius of our time?”

What? I’m not bad-mouthing John Candy! I’m talking about Robin Williams.

What I’m getting at is that our perception of reality is messed up.

Perception Deception

Man, who lives in a conceptual world, has always appreciated art inasmuch his leisure time afforded him. The problem is that our leisure time has taken over our whole lives. Thus, what was formerly an avocation called culture has morphed into an all-encompassing entertainment complex called pop culture.

Pop culture is so vivid and the sensory experience so realistic that we all think we actually knew Robin Willams.

Maybe Robin Williams lived his whole life in deep seated agony and depression. But when the director hollered “Action,” he sprung into character as a rambunctious whilrwind of jokes and impersonations.

We never saw him or knew him after the director said, “Cut, and that’s a wrap.” But there was this guy Robin Williams we all new and to us that man never wasn’t Robin Williams.

The number one suicide prevention factor is other people. But what happens when everwhere he went other people expected the Robin Williams to be Robin Williams? How can you be sad when everyone thinks you’re the Genie? How can you suffer emotionally when everyone thinks you’re the professor or psychologist, or a never-ending ball of pure joyful energy?

What happens when everybody loves you but nobody will give you work? What happens in the cruel business of show business when the young bucks running the studios now-a-days tell you how much they love you but the market’s just not there for another Robin Williams character? (They’re all kind of the same.)

If the whole world knows Robin Williams but doesn’t know Robin Williams where can Robin Williams go where he isn’t Robin Williams?

Perhaps in his mind it wasn’t suicide. Maybe he thought it’s time to lower the curtain on Robin Williams. The act’s over. He no longer had to play the role of Robin Williams.

The Powerful Play Must End

I believe the antidote for depression is reality, not a pill. I firmly believe all these pills they want us to pop shelter us from reality and therefore amplify suicidal tendencies.

The Robin Williams suicide tore a hole in the illusion our nation lives under. It showed a little piece of reality that we could not handle, so we popped some pills to escape the terrible emotions that this life under the sun deals us.

Russell Brand, in an essay, spoke for an entire generation of the disillusioned when he blamed the world for killing Robin Williams, the actor. He didn’t blame Robin Williams, the man.

Then he went on to denounce Fox News, who relay images of a reality he wants to avoid. And defiantly, he would celebrate Robin Williams, the actor, by watching Mrs. Doubtfire, a role that Robin Williams, the man, absolutely dreaded reviving.

The Tragic News Media

I heard a newscaster say Robin Williams suffered, a “tragic, unexpected death.” It wasn’t tragic. Neither fate nor chance dealt him death. He did. Death was exactly what he expected when he wrapped the belt around his neck.

Yet his death was unexpected. To them. The newscasters were incredulous that a comedian would be depressed and suicidal because they’re in the same business. The news media, together with Hollywood, and the advertisers of Madison Avenue are in the business of altering your perception of reality.

The Media sets out every day all day to alter your view of reality. Yet they ironically are so gullible as to believe the lies of their sister industries.

“How in the world could the Genie from Aladdin be depressed and suicidal?” They wonder.

I don’t know, news media. How could the foods that human beings been eating for all human history be killing us? Yet every day you’d have us believe that fat, salt, cholesterol, and now gluten are bad.

How could we call what gay men do to eachother in bed “love?” Yet that’s the perception you want America to have.

How is it that conservative Christians are the mean-spirited, hate-filled racists when it’s Islam beheading, murdering, and committing genocide all across the globe?

But you ignore that because the real reality ruins the illusion you’re hypnotyzing America to perceive.

What I’m pointing out is not inconsequential. Suicidal people choose to ultimately avoid reality rather than face it. Our whole nation is committing suicide rather than face reality.

When the United States of America elected Barack Obama they thought they were electing a movie character played by Will Smith. But the reality is that this despicable man is an enemy of the state and a traitor to our land. And we’d rather face the back side of curtains than face that fact.

America, Asleep Like Jonah

This Sunday my pastor preached out of the book of Jonah. And we all got a good laugh out of God’s prophet falling asleep in the bottom of the boat during the storm.

Can we Americans really laugh at Jonah? Aren’t we a city on a hill? Yet we are rebelling against God’s commands. There’s a storm brewing all around the globe. Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran are all gearing up for war against us. It would be better for us if we were actually asleep to this storm.

But we’re not. We’re just rolling around the bilge like its a game.

Everything is a game to the over-entertained, sleep-deprived American.

Look at how Sleep is a theme in the Bible. Fools always sleep at the wrong time. For example at harvest when it’s time to work. Or most famously when Jesus asked his disciples to stay alert and pray right before his betrayal.

America found a folly worse than sleep. Entertainment.
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The Gospel: The Only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.’

only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun

NRA vice president Wane LaPierre accidentally preached the Gospel when he said “The only thing that stops a bag guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” (modified image originally by Gage Skidmore)

Two weeks after the Newtown Massacre, the National Rifle Association held a press conference where its vice president, Wayne LaPierre, preached the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Whether he knew it or not, I don’t know. Sometimes the best preachers don’t even know it. But Mr. LaPierre preached the Gospel when he said, “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”

Satan is a bad guy with a gun, Jesus is a good guy with a gun. I don’t need to tell you who wins the standoff, you can flip to the last page of the Bible and read for yourself. (SPOILER ALERT: It’s Jesus.) But how he wins is a message of good news for each one of us. It’s a message whose crux is the cross.

Barack Obama and his voters oppose this message, btw. After the Newtown Massacre, your president addressed the nation, telling us we need to “come together to take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this.” He and the Democrat party are telling you that gun control will prevent massacres.

This is a LIE! Read more

What does sequester mean?

what does sequester mean

what does sequester mean? Mene, Mene, Tekel, Parsin. (image courtesy of wikimedia commons.)

What does sequester mean? A lot of people are wondering the definition. All they know about sequestration is that Obama whips America into a frenzy about it.

Sequestration has to do with a few billion dollars that might be automatically cut form the federal budget unless a new budget deal is agreed on. It’s a relatively small amount, yet according to Democrats, we average Americans will suffer immensely because of these cuts. They threaten long lines at the air port, dangerous cuts to defense funding, and furloughs for government employees. My question is, if there is a budget shortfall, why are the most essential programs the first to go? Read more

Manti Te’o and Barack Obama

 

obamateo

So, it turns out that Manti Te’o’s cancer-stricken, tragically deceased girlfriend was a hoax. When this news flooded twitter, am I the only one who instantly made a connection between Manti Te’o and Barack Obama?

Some people right now are like, “Jimmy, no. Don’t go there.”

And I’m like, Go where? How do you know what I’m going to say?

And they’re like, “Are you going to make a connection between Lennay Kekua and Obama’s ‘composite’ girlfriend in his memoir? Or Clint Eastwood’s empty chair?”

No. But those are good ones! Perhaps you can start your own blog and attack the president.
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Why does anyone need an assault rifle?

why does anyone need an assault rifle?

Why does anyone need an assault rifle? To kill people. Duh. (photo courtesy of Offspring_18_87)

Why does anyone need an assault rifle? To kill people. Duh! That’s the stupidest question I ever bothered to answer. Why else would anybody get an assault rifle? To have a more expensive way to point a flashlight?

Sure there are many other weapons that can kill a man, but the assault rifle has features that make that job much easier. Especially in combat. It has a pistol grip that allows it to be held more ergonomically. It has attachments that help aim the gun and illuminate the target. Most importantly, it has a magazine that contains 30 bullets. Much better than a 6-shooter on the nightstand or the single shot in a hunter’s rifle.

Right now some people are like, “Jimmy, I don’t see the need for anybody to have that much power.”

Honey, the only reason you don’t see the need for such a weapon is because somewhere the weapon is doing its job. Even when it’s not fired. It’s called a deterrent. Violent force and the fear of violent force are part of reality. It’s not our job to change the world. Read more

McCain Ambassador Attack

A lot of people don’t like how I say Barack Obama is unAmerican.

But I believe that he’s an enemy of our country.
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Liberal Melchizedek

Some people are like, “Jimmy, you must feel stupid that you made that Mormon Melchizedek post last week then Romney lost.”

Uh, no. I don’t feel stupid. In fact, I feel wicked smart. The two main points of the post stand stronger. You’d do yourself a favor to understand them. First, Read more

Free to be Slaves

We are Americans are fools. We look at a nutrient called fat, and tell each other that it should be treated like poison. We listen to a man who cannot speak extemporaneously, and who cannot even say the word extemporaneously without a speech impediment. But we tell each other that that man is the greatest orator, and we elect him as our leader. We Americans are fools.
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Osmotic Oppression

Osmotic pressure is the pressure that stops the process of osmosis, which is water flowing through a semi-permeable membrane. How many of you remember that from tenth grade biology?

Yes, I Once Took a Science Class
A lot of people reading this right now were in that class with me. How many of you remember when we had that experiment requiring uric acid? We couldn’t find it. I though it must have been a clever test of our resourcefulness. Uric acid must be in urine, right? Well then, excuse me while I fill this graduated cylinder. But it turned out that uric acid was actually in the back cabinet, and it was not a test of our resourcefulness, and … Jimmy, why did you do that! Good thing there are sinks all around a lab room.
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Mormon Melchizedek

One day, a mysterious, unnamed tipster called into Harry Reid’s office. He informed the Senate leader that Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney hadn’t paid taxes in a decade. When Mr. Reid pressed for more information to substantiate this scurrilous accusation he heard a dial tone. Welp, the only way Mr. Romney could refute this accusation was to release two decades’ worth of tax returns.

One day, I too got a phone call from a mysterious tipster. He claimed Mr. Romney is en route to becoming the Mormon Melchizedek. Read more

50 State Sweep. 2012 Election Prediction.

I’m gonna make a bold prediction right here. I predict Mitt Romney will win the 2012 election in a 50 state sweep.

Mitt Romney is the New England Patriots of presidential candidates. What is Barack Obama? The Buffalo Bills? Yes, they are both failures. But the Bills have some talent. No-talent Obama is worse than the Bills. President Obama shows up to a football game ready for a cricket match. OBAMA IS UNAMERICAN!
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Stamp out Food Stamps

Some people come up to me and they’re like, “Jimmy, how can we help Mitt Romney win the Presidency?”

And I’m like, “Well, I’ll tell you how, and this is free for the Romney campaign.”

What you need to do is recognize that Barack Obama is stoking up and running on hatred for the rich. The “rich.” What Barack Obama does not understand is that, not every individual in the middle class hates the rich. Believe it or not, some aspire to be rich.

What Mitt Romney can capitalize on is the middle class contempt for EBT cards and food stamps. Read more

Affirmative Irony

The ironic thing about irony is that nobody even knows what ironic means. God knows what ironic means. He doesn’t tell us the definition. He demonstrates it. And ironically we prove what irony means. When we deny God’s wisdom and embrace folly, God gives us over to that folly. Thereby, we prove his wisdom. That process, irony, is hard to explain but easy to see.

Affirmative action is not Biblical. Read more

Right Hook

A lot of people ask me if I think Barack Obama is the antichrist.

You’re asking me if I think that an angel came down from heaven to warn John on the Isle of Patmos about a man who wears mom jeans and can’t even throw a pitch to home plate.
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The Zero Commandment

When we talk about Barack Obama rising to power, we talk about the election of 2008, or the inauguration of 2009, or maybe even his speech at the DNC in 2004.

But Barack Obama is a tree. His seed was planted a long time ago. Read more

Barack Obama Pogs

April 12, 1992. Where were you?

I’ll tell you where I was. I was in my sixth grade classroom, learning about Pogs. Some of my classmates showed up to school that day with a baggie, filled with little cardboard round things with graphics on them. I said, “Guys, what’s THAT?” And they were like, “Oh Jimmy, these are Pogs.” I said, “Well, what do you do with them?” And they were like, “Oh, it’s a game, you just like, smash them.” And I was like, “You paid for these things?” And they were like, “Yeah. They’re COOL.”
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