The Patriots Did Not Cheat in #DeflateGate. The Colts Did!

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When people heard that 11 of the 12 New England Patriots’ footballs were 2 psi too light at halftime, they all concluded the Patriots cheated. No! I say that the 2 psi drop indicates the Patriots did not cheat! Just read the rules.

The NFL Rulebook requires that both teams bring their balls to the NFL referees’s locker room for inspection before the game. Then the Operations Manual states, “Once the balls have left the locker room, no one, including players, equipment managers, ball boys, and coaches, is allowed to alter the footballs in any way.”

Did you read that? You cannot pump the footballs up or deflate them after the refs inspect them.

Right now some people are like, “Jimmy, that proves the Patriots cheated because their balls were lighter!”

No! The rules do not require the teams to maintain the balls in the required pressure range. In fact, since they cannot be altered after inspection, you can’t legally maintain the required 12.5 to 13.5 psi. Cold weather could cause Patriots balls to deflate and there’s nothing they could do.

“But the Indianapolis Colts footballs were fully inflated!”

Yea! Because THEY CHEATED!!

Maybe the Colts pumped their balls up during the game. Why? Maybe they schemed to drop a dime on the Patriots and accuse them of what any NFL team would be guilty of on a cold game day: under-inflated balls. And to make sure they didn’t also get in trouble, they topped their balls off.

If that’s true, they’re in violation of NFL Operations Manual which expressly prohibits altering the balls. They are the cheaters.

Oh, but they only inflated the balls to regulation pressure? That’s nice. But it doesn’t matter. The rules don’t allow you to alter the ball, even if it’s to bring the ball back to regulation pressure.

This would explain why the Colts’ players are acting really nice to the Patriots on twitter. Guilt.

This would explain why Colts’ Linebacker D’Qwell Jackson changed his story. Earlier this week, we heard Jackson noticed the Patriot’s football was soft after he intercepted it. But now he denies it. Maybe he never actually claimed that to begin with. It was all part of the script to sabotage the Patriots legacy.

This week, everyone will be doing science experiments on Wilson footballs. When the data comes in, it’s going to seem mighty peculiar that the Colts’ balls were still 13.5 psi at halftime.

Guys, today I made a bold accusation against the Colts. I’m a true New England Patriots fan. You frauds abandoned the team on account of 2 psi. Shame.

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