Donald Trump and the definition of Politics

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Note: I wrote this last summer, sometime in August 2015.

Guys, I formulated a definition of Politics. It answers the question, “What is politics?” even through nobody is asking that question. My definition explains why Donald Trump is dominating right now in the Republican primary.

So what is politics? Politics is when a guy breaks the unwritten rules to get the power to write the written rules. Read more

Did fracking cause the San Ramon California Earthquake Swarm?

 

san ramon earthquake swarm

San Ramon California Earthquake swarm of 2015 (via usgs.gov)

 
When an earthquake swarm hits Oklahoma, liberals blame fracking. But when an earthquake swarm hits Northern California, what do liberals blame? Windmills? Read more

Why Skyscrapers don’t cause earthquakes but Windmills do.

  
Why do windmills cause earthquakes but not skyscrapers? A lot of people asked that question when I first postulated the sail push theory of windmill-caused earthquakes. Read more

I can’t believe the Patiots lost

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I cannot believe the Patriots lost! Where is justice? Is there any justice here on earth when a team a noble as the New England Patriots suffers the scorn of scoundrels and the slander of bitter fools? Read more

Windmills Cause Earthquakes

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Windmills cause earthquakes. That’s the bold statement I made in a recent bombshell article that made the rounds and generated a lot of buzz.

Lots of people took to the comments to pish-posh the idea that windmills could generate enough force to move the earth’s crust. They said I should go back to school and learn science so I’d join them in blaming fracking.

Hold on there! Why am I stupid for thinking something man-made such as windmills cause earthquakes but you’re a genius for concluding that the made-made act of fracking does the same?

Look, I can make a powerful argument about how windmills cause earthquakes. I can back it up with charts, maps, and data. What I don’t have is a huge government grant to fund my research. But with help from feedingjimmy.com readers, we can create a barrage of sensationalistic and misleading headlines on social media to vilify the windmill industry.

But is it true? Do windmills actually cause earthquakes?

It doesn’t matter. I made the accusation. Now it’s up to them to disprove it. And until they do, we need to shut down all windmill construction. That’s the way it works, guys.

Anyways, here’s my plausible windmill-earthqake theory. Read more

Cheap Chicken Friday Video #FBF

It’s Friday, Friday, Cheap Chicken Friday!

This Flashback Friday, we’re flashing back to my parody video of Rebecca Black’s youtube sensation Friday. It stars Stop & Shop’s Rotisserie chickens for $5.00 each.

This could never be on throw back thursday by definition. Read more

Howard Stern’s new deal and the pathetic state of Internet Radio

Howard Stern

Howard Stern didn’t go to Internet Radio — or loser podcasts! (image via Bob Norton)

Howard Stern made big news in the radio world last week when he finally signed a new deal with SiriusXM in the waning moments of his previous contract. The noteworthy aspect of the deal was not the money, which was reported to be like $80 million over 5 years or something. It was the pathetic role internet radio played in the negotiations. Read more

The Feeding Jimmy Christmas Podcast

Merry Christmas, guys. It’s the feedingjimmy.com Christmas Podcast!

Now I know what some of you are saying. You’re saying, “Jimmy, Christmas is over.”

No. Not so. Christmas traditionally begins on Christmas. It lasts for 12 days. It ends on Three Kings Day — traditionally.

So why don’t we Christians fight to return to the traditional observance of Christmas rather than this massive commercial cumulation that ends abruptly on Christmas day?

Who has that emotional energy to fight for a return to traditional Christmas?

I don’t.

Especially not with atheists snidely telling us that traditionally Christmas is not a Christian holiday at all.

That’s the main point of the feedingjimmy.com Christmas Podcast. I mainly discuss the points of my last post, I learned about the Pagan origins of Christmas – At Church.

But I also talk about how Christmas is for hoarders.

So give it a listen!

Thanks, guys. Oh, and Merry Christmas!

I learned about the Pagan origins of Christmas tradtions at Church

 

nativity hans baldun

Nativity, by Hans Baldung. (via biblioklept.org)

 
Guys, I love it when atheists tell us Christians that the origin of Christmas actually came from ancient pagan holidays. It’s like they’re trying to drop some bombshell news to shatter our feeble religious minds.

Well, hang on to your fedoras, atheists. I got bombshell news for you. We Christians already learned about the pagan origins of Christmas… at church! Read more

Science says Anger at work is okay. That makes me ANGRY!

 

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Studies suggest moral anger at work is good — if you work with racka-frassin’ VARMITS!

 
Anger is actually beneficial for the workplace. That’s the conclusion of a scientific study published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior. And what can I say except that makes me angry.Ironic, I know, but here’s why:

You should never have to tell people that it’s okay to be angry. In fact, when people go around saying it’s okay to be angry, that in and of itself is a sure sign of emotional dysfunction. Read more

I listened to innumerable accidents in Denver on AM radio KOA.

Guys, I have another dispatch from my long distance AM radio adventures. Last night as I rolled up route 18 in New Mexico heading into Hobbs, I locked on to 850 KOA out of Denver, and I heard something I haven’t heard for a long time out of a radio: a traffic report. Read more

Chilling predictions about the Clintons from Art Bell show in 1996. 

Guys, I’m sitting here in Artesia, New Mexico waiting on standby. I’m just doing some distance AM listening to kill the time and I pulled in 1110 KFAB from Omaha, Nebraska.

Amazing right? But not only did I pull in a broadcast from a long distance, I got a show from a long time ago. 
They’re playing Art Bell’s Somewhere in Time, which rebroadcasts episodes from the radio hall-of-famer’s archives. 
Today the rebroadcast was from a show originally aired in June 1996 in the midst of the Ken Star investigation. The guest was Rodger Morris, the author of Partners in Power, about Mr. and Mrs. Clinton. He and Mr. Bell recounted the rise to power and the criminal activities of the Clintons. Then they opined about the future of the couple and wondered if they could escape conviction and win reelection. 
What an amazing time capsule! You’d just have to listen to the show yourself. On one hand you laugh at the naive sentiment we held twenty years ago, but you also cringe at the disasters we were walking right into.  Read more

Should Christians support Trump’s ban on Muslims?

  
Trump announced he would ban immigration to the United States by Muslims. A lot of Christians wonder if they should support this ban. 

Actually, let me take that back. A lot of idiot Christians wonder if they should support this ban. Those of us Christians with brains are standing and applauding. Finally someone is running for political office who stands for justice. 

Ban Muslim immigration! Read more

Do we have a gun scourge or Muslim killers? 

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The drudge report had the NY Post cover page posted all day today.

Look at the cover pages of today’s two New York tabloids reporting on the San Bernardino massacre. The Daily News blasts Republicans for praying to God rather than “truly ending gun scourge.” Contrast that with The Post that shows two victims with the caption “Muslim killers.”

One situation, but two different takes from New York’s tell-it-like-it-is papers.

So what is it? Do we have a gun scourge? Or a Muslim killers? Read more

NY Daily News says God Isn’t Fixing This. I agree. #SanBernardino

God isn't fixing this.

The New York Daily News cooked up this cover page before we captured the Muslims who did it. (via)

NY Daily news tweeted a preview of tomorrow’s cover page in response to the San Bernardino mass shooting. They lined the tabloid’s side with tweets from leading Republicans offering their “thoughts and prayers” to the victims.

In big bold letters, the tabloid states “God isn’t fixing this.”

Then the homily. “As the latest batch of innocent Americans are left lying in pools of blood, cowards who could truly end gun scourge continue to hide behind meaningless platitudes.”

You know what? I agree. God isn’t fixing this. Read more

Who do Atheists thank on Thanksgiving?

Indian Illegal Immigrants

Fairness is a warped sense of justice. (image via)

Who do atheists thank on Thanksgiving? Someone asked me that and actually I kinda answered that in my post, Okay, you’re thankful, but to whom?

Without God, Thanksgiving is an absurd holiday. Read more

I saw a Black Friday fight at Walmart

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source: tumblr

Guys, we were all so bored today that we decided to take a trip to Walmart where I saw a fight over merchandise. Yup. A fight.

My son PhilPhil ran up to a box filled with giant Mickey Mouses (selling at a roll back price of $20 each.) He grabbed one, then his little brother Baby Beebaw (aka Brian) wanted the same one.

Baby Beebaw was like, “Mine! Mine! No, Mine!” and tried to grab the Mickey Mouse that PhilPhil had.

Why he wanted that specific one, I don’t know. The box had at least 15 other ones.

So they started fighting.

My first thought was to get out my cell phone camera to take a video of a screaming two year old fight his four year-old brother for a giant Mickey Mouse plush toy.

But then I was like, no, if I could somehow get them to fight over a flatscreen, it might get more views on Youtube.

It didn’t matter anyways. The fight fizzled out before I could roll film. It’s like sensory overload there. They found some other things to run over to and dropped the Mickey Mouse on the floor.

#BlackFriday 2015

Black Friday 2015

Better get yours before they get you!

Black Friday 2015. I’m sitting here in my secure surplus military bunker as the carnage unfolds at our nation’s walmarts. This bunker has wifi, so I’m able to access drudgereport.com to stay updated on the Black Friday casualties. It’s like a tradition around here.

Kids, stop running around the bunker! Or I’ll send you to Walmart to buy a flatscreen!

Guys, remember what your Uncle said yesterday at Thanksgiving Dinner? He said, “Welp, today is the day we’re thankful for all we have. Tomorow is the day we fight for what we don’t need.”

Some people right now are like, “How did you know my Uncle said that. You weren’t there.”

Guys, your uncle says that every thanksgiving. Every uncle says that every thanksgiving.

But nobody says it better than America’s Uncle, Eddie Fitzgerald. On his blog, Uncle Eddie’s Theory Corner, he has a picto-cartoon storyboard-script about Black Friday. Check it out here.

So happy Black Friday, everyone. Get your flatscreen before you get flattened!

Okay, you’re thankful. But to whom?

George Washington's Thanksgiving Proclamation of 1789

George Washington’s Thanksgiving Proclamation of 1789 (via mountvernon.org)

Happy Thanksgiving, guys. I hope you’re having a good time with your friends and family. Perhaps you’re rattling off all the things you’re thankful for. That’s what this holiday is all about, right? To be thankful. And thankfully, we don’t need to think too hard to come up with a cornucopia of wonderful things that we Americans enjoy.

I just got one question. To whom are you thankful?

You grammar police are thankful I phrased this question correctly. I said “to whom are you thankful?” rather than “who are you thankful to?” Well, with that, I’m thankful I don’t have the grammar police harping on me right now.

So let’s continue using correct grammar, shall we? Read more

The Worldwide Travel Alert will soon change to a Stateside Travel Alert

Seal of the United States Department of State

Today the United States Department of State issued a blanket warning to all Americans traveling anywhere over the world. Due to terrorism abroad, travelers should exercise caution. The Worldwide Travel Alert states:

The State Department alerts U.S. citizens to possible risks of travel due to increased terrorist threats. Current information suggests that ISIL (aka Da’esh), al-Qa’ida, Boko Haram, and other terrorist groups continue to plan terrorist attacks in multiple regions. These attacks may employ a wide variety of tactics, using conventional and non-conventional weapons and targeting both official and private interests. This Travel Alert expires on February 24, 2016.

 

So I got a question.

How long will it be before the United States issues a travel advisory for Americans traveling domestically? Read more