Note: I wrote this last summer, sometime in August 2015.
Guys, I formulated a definition of Politics. It answers the question, “What is politics?” even through nobody is asking that question. My definition explains why Donald Trump is dominating right now in the Republican primary.
So what is politics? Politics is when a guy breaks the unwritten rules to get the power to write the written rules. Read more
I cannot believe the Patriots lost! Where is justice? Is there any justice here on earth when a team a noble as the New England Patriots suffers the scorn of scoundrels and the slander of bitter fools? Read more
Windmills cause earthquakes. That’s the bold statement I made in a recent bombshell article that made the rounds and generated a lot of buzz.
Lots of people took to the comments to pish-posh the idea that windmills could generate enough force to move the earth’s crust. They said I should go back to school and learn science so I’d join them in blaming fracking.
Hold on there! Why am I stupid for thinking something man-made such as windmills cause earthquakes but you’re a genius for concluding that the made-made act of fracking does the same?
Look, I can make a powerful argument about how windmills cause earthquakes. I can back it up with charts, maps, and data. What I don’t have is a huge government grant to fund my research. But with help from feedingjimmy.com readers, we can create a barrage of sensationalistic and misleading headlines on social media to vilify the windmill industry.
But is it true? Do windmills actually cause earthquakes?
It doesn’t matter. I made the accusation. Now it’s up to them to disprove it. And until they do, we need to shut down all windmill construction. That’s the way it works, guys.
Anyways, here’s my plausible windmill-earthqake theory. Read more
Howard Stern didn’t go to Internet Radio — or loser podcasts! (image via Bob Norton)
Howard Stern made big news in the radio world last week when he finally signed a new deal with SiriusXM in the waning moments of his previous contract. The noteworthy aspect of the deal was not the money, which was reported to be like $80 million over 5 years or something. It was the pathetic role internet radio played in the negotiations. Read more
Guys, I love it when atheists tell us Christians that the origin of Christmas actually came from ancient pagan holidays. It’s like they’re trying to drop some bombshell news to shatter our feeble religious minds.
Well, hang on to your fedoras, atheists. I got bombshell news for you. We Christians already learned about the pagan origins of Christmas… at church! Read more
Studies suggest moral anger at work is good — if you work with racka-frassin’ VARMITS!
Anger is actually beneficial for the workplace. That’s the conclusion of a scientific study published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior. And what can I say except that makes me angry.Ironic, I know, but here’s why:
You should never have to tell people that it’s okay to be angry. In fact, when people go around saying it’s okay to be angry, that in and of itself is a sure sign of emotional dysfunction. Read more
Guys, I have another dispatch from my long distance AM radio adventures. Last night as I rolled up route 18 in New Mexico heading into Hobbs, I locked on to 850 KOA out of Denver, and I heard something I haven’t heard for a long time out of a radio: a traffic report. Read more
Guys, I’m sitting here in Artesia, New Mexico waiting on standby. I’m just doing some distance AM listening to kill the time and I pulled in 1110 KFAB from Omaha, Nebraska.
Amazing right? But not only did I pull in a broadcast from a long distance, I got a show from a long time ago.
They’re playing Art Bell’s Somewhere in Time, which rebroadcasts episodes from the radio hall-of-famer’s archives.
Today the rebroadcast was from a show originally aired in June 1996 in the midst of the Ken Star investigation. The guest was Rodger Morris, the author of Partners in Power, about Mr. and Mrs. Clinton. He and Mr. Bell recounted the rise to power and the criminal activities of the Clintons. Then they opined about the future of the couple and wondered if they could escape conviction and win reelection.
What an amazing time capsule! You’d just have to listen to the show yourself. On one hand you laugh at the naive sentiment we held twenty years ago, but you also cringe at the disasters we were walking right into. Read more
Trump announced he would ban immigration to the United States by Muslims. A lot of Christians wonder if they should support this ban.
Actually, let me take that back. A lot of idiot Christians wonder if they should support this ban. Those of us Christians with brains are standing and applauding. Finally someone is running for political office who stands for justice.
The drudge report had the NY Post cover page posted all day today.
Look at the cover pages of today’s two New York tabloids reporting on the San Bernardino massacre. The Daily News blasts Republicans for praying to God rather than “truly ending gun scourge.” Contrast that with The Post that shows two victims with the caption “Muslim killers.”
One situation, but two different takes from New York’s tell-it-like-it-is papers.
So what is it? Do we have a gun scourge? Or a Muslim killers? Read more
The New York Daily News cooked up this cover page before we captured the Muslims who did it. (via)
NY Daily news tweeted a preview of tomorrow’s cover page in response to the San Bernardino mass shooting. They lined the tabloid’s side with tweets from leading Republicans offering their “thoughts and prayers” to the victims.
In big bold letters, the tabloid states “God isn’t fixing this.”
Then the homily. “As the latest batch of innocent Americans are left lying in pools of blood, cowards who could truly end gun scourge continue to hide behind meaningless platitudes.”
You know what? I agree. God isn’t fixing this. Read more
Black Friday 2015. I’m sitting here in my secure surplus military bunker as the carnage unfolds at our nation’s walmarts. This bunker has wifi, so I’m able to access drudgereport.com to stay updated on the Black Friday casualties. It’s like a tradition around here.
Kids, stop running around the bunker! Or I’ll send you to Walmart to buy a flatscreen!
Guys, remember what your Uncle said yesterday at Thanksgiving Dinner? He said, “Welp, today is the day we’re thankful for all we have. Tomorow is the day we fight for what we don’t need.”
Some people right now are like, “How did you know my Uncle said that. You weren’t there.”
Guys, your uncle says that every thanksgiving. Every uncle says that every thanksgiving.
But nobody says it better than America’s Uncle, Eddie Fitzgerald. On his blog, Uncle Eddie’s Theory Corner, he has a picto-cartoon storyboard-script about Black Friday. Check it out here.
So happy Black Friday, everyone. Get your flatscreen before you get flattened!
George Washington’s Thanksgiving Proclamation of 1789 (via mountvernon.org)
Happy Thanksgiving, guys. I hope you’re having a good time with your friends and family. Perhaps you’re rattling off all the things you’re thankful for. That’s what this holiday is all about, right? To be thankful. And thankfully, we don’t need to think too hard to come up with a cornucopia of wonderful things that we Americans enjoy.
I just got one question. To whom are you thankful?
You grammar police are thankful I phrased this question correctly. I said “to whom are you thankful?” rather than “who are you thankful to?” Well, with that, I’m thankful I don’t have the grammar police harping on me right now.
So let’s continue using correct grammar, shall we? Read more
Today the United States Department of State issued a blanket warning to all Americans traveling anywhere over the world. Due to terrorism abroad, travelers should exercise caution. The Worldwide Travel Alert states:
The State Department alerts U.S. citizens to possible risks of travel due to increased terrorist threats. Current information suggests that ISIL (aka Da’esh), al-Qa’ida, Boko Haram, and other terrorist groups continue to plan terrorist attacks in multiple regions. These attacks may employ a wide variety of tactics, using conventional and non-conventional weapons and targeting both official and private interests. This Travel Alert expires on February 24, 2016.
So I got a question.
How long will it be before the United States issues a travel advisory for Americans traveling domestically? Read more