NY Daily News says God Isn’t Fixing This. I agree. #SanBernardino

God isn't fixing this.

The New York Daily News cooked up this cover page before we captured the Muslims who did it. (via)

NY Daily news tweeted a preview of tomorrow’s cover page in response to the San Bernardino mass shooting. They lined the tabloid’s side with tweets from leading Republicans offering their “thoughts and prayers” to the victims.

In big bold letters, the tabloid states “God isn’t fixing this.”

Then the homily. “As the latest batch of innocent Americans are left lying in pools of blood, cowards who could truly end gun scourge continue to hide behind meaningless platitudes.”

You know what? I agree. God isn’t fixing this.

Obviously, they editors of the New York Daily news scoff at the Christian religion of Ted Cruz, Dr. Rand Paul, Lindsey Graham, and Paul Ryan. The subtext of the statement is that since God isn’t real, praying does nothing to fix the problem.

So if Christians don’t solve the problem by praying to God, can the atheists from crime infested New York do any better?

First, let me say this. I knew an engineer named Ed who always said, “a problem well defined seeks its own solution.” So how does Daily News define the problem at San Bernardino that left 14 people dead?

It’s right there in emphatic red letters: “gun scourge.”

Gun scourge is the problem that Republicans cannot fix by praying?

Okay, so 14 people died in a California social services center today due to gun scourge? Yup, these Republican senators, (who aren’t even from California,) are cowards who prayed instead of truly ending this instance of gun scourge.

Rather than tweet prayers, these dummies should have taken to the floor of the Senate to actually do something about gun scourge.

Okay, but what’s gun scourge?

Well, to scourge is to whip. You know like the quartermaster did to Billy Bud, and Pilate did to Jesus Christ.

So no more whipping people with guns! Pass a law. There you go, New York Daily News. Problem solved.

Wait! There’s just one problem. These people in San Bernardino died when the guns fired bullets. Not when the guns scourged them.

Oh. Perhaps the New York Daily News meant something else by scourge. Like when there’s a widespread, irritating problem. Like aggressive pan handlers dressed like Elmo assaulting tourists. They are the scourge of Times Square.

Guns are just like Times Square bums.

So after the 911 calls came in today, the SWATT teams rushed out to apprehend the gun scourge, right? We were all glued to our phones waiting for the cops to catch the guns. Helicopters circled above suspicious guns in a black SUV. We all waited with bated breath to see what kinds of guns they captured after the standoff.

Could it be a gasp long rifle?!

Hold on, guys. Hold on. This just in. According to a recent news report on wnd.com, “Pipe bombs were thrown at officers as they pursued the getaway vehicle from Redlands back to San Bernardino.”

Pipe bombs! Do we have a pipe bomb scourge too!?

Guys, it’s taking all of my self-control to keep from praying. Everything in me says that I should offer thoughts and prayers to the victim of pipe bombs. But I know the New York Daily News would scold me. Instead, I should truly end pipe bomb scourge.

I’m not a coward! To prove it, I won’t pray for Boston either.

Two years ago, my former city suffered a terrible pressure cooker scourge killing and maiming innocent American spectators watching the Boston Marathon. Oh, and one Chinese spectator.

And don’t forget about the knife beheading scourge. Now I know that knife beheading scourge mainly affects areas we just recently surrendered in Iraq. But there was a food processing plant in Oklahoma where knife beheading scourge claimed the life of an innocent Sooner.

All these scourges.

And what exactly did the cops do?

In Oklahoma they arrested a recent convert to Islam, not the knife. In Boston, there was a massive manhunt for Muslims who came to America as refugees. Not the pressure cooker. And in California today, the chase ended when a Muslim was brought into custody. Not the gun.

Hey, New York Daily News. It sounds like we actually have a Muslim scourge. And they don’t just use guns.

But the politicians who could truly end Muslim scourge are instead offering platitudes about combating global warming. And to show defiance against global warming, they are allowing massive, unchecked immigration of Muslims into our country.

More Muslims would further compound the muslim scourge, experts say.

Some people right now are like, “But Jimmy, not all Muslims are bad.”

If no guns are good, then no Muslims are good either.

This insanity we see playing out before our eyes is the end result of America continually rejecting God’s wisdom. Liberals reject God. Atheists reject God.

The New York Daily News says God isn’t doing anything. I agree. You rejected him. Why should he solve a problem you caused? Especially when you don’t even allow him in your government or public places.

God isn’t doing anything… except laughing at you.

Enjoy!

Related posts:

Write a Comment: