God is punishing me.
Some people right now are like, “Jimmy, that’s awful. God doesn’t punish people.”
Uhh, have you ever read the Bible? God is always punishing people. That’s pretty much what the Bible is all about. Scripture says that God “feels indignation every day.”
Right now some people, seeking to take advantage of my sentiment, are like, “Jimmy, sure. God might be punishing you. Yea. Maybe because of those terrible things you wrote about homosexuals on feedingjimmy.com. Uh huh. That’s it. Hehe.” (That’s nervous laughter.)
No, you idiot! This just goes to show that you *really* don’t even believe in God. You think God exists in the collective imagination of society. Therefore you suggest to the gullible that God only says nice things and you steer them clear of the Holy Bible.
But I don’t listen to you idiots. I actually read the Bible. And God’s words spawned a message inside me that’s so severe that it will burn you to ashes just to hear me speak it. It burns me up too just living inside me. I must breathe out this message or my whole body will sear from within.
(Btw, I also started reading the Apocrypha. That didn’t help quell this fire none neither.)
Why is God Punishing me?
And here’s why God is punishing me. Not because of terrible things I have written in his name. He’s punishing me because I have *not* written all the terrible things he requires of me. God’s revelation about his wisdom came with a compulsion to share it. And I just cannot update feedingjimmy.com quickly enough to keep up with these revelations.
And how does God punish me? He just hammers down the throttle. He reveals more wisdom atop what I can’t even keep up with already. Then he jams shut the thermostat. Which means I’m overheating. (I’m talking about the need to share this wisdom.)
So, yea. That right there is a truck analogy. Because I’m sitting here in my Kenworth, typing this while I wait to unload my truck in the west Texas oil fields. I spend the whole work day holding this steering wheel when all I want to do is teach God’s wisdom to you idiots. (I can’t type and steer at the same time.)
How does that make me feel? Angry! Why would God make it difficult for me to do what he caused me to want to do and then punish me for not doing it?
Like I said, God is severe.
And if I *want* to serve God, but he deals with me severely, imagine what you have in store. Serving God is the last thing you think to do!
Okay, some of you are still uncomfortable about me saying God is punishing me. Let me ask this: does God reward people?
That’s right. Does God reward people? Here on earth. For good behavior. Hhhm?
So many of you answer “no.” I cry. Your shallow knowledge of scripture turns the verse, “there is none who is righteous no not one,” into the obviation of God’s sanctifying work. If God offered you a reward for good behavior, you would turn it down. Instead you find bad behavior irresistible.
Furthermore, to admit that God can and does reward good behavior is to admit that God can and does punish bad behavior. And you naughty idiots have been resisting that concept from the very beginning of this article.
God *does* reward good behavior. When I was about, ohh, let’s see… 14? Yea, back in ’94. I read in the Bible to avoid sexual immorality. So I dedicated myself to Jesus. I stopped reading porn. And I stopped jerking my meat.
And you know what? Within 10 years I met and married a hot chick named Denise. Even her name is hot. Denise.
But getting married to any old hot chick isn’t the reward. Scripture says that God does not add trouble to his blessing. I don’t have trouble from my marriage to Denise.
That’s quite a reward! The rest of America thinks that marriage irresistibly leads to strife. And you laugh about marital tumult on your sitcoms. Then you go read porn and jerk your meat.
Obedience to God rewards itself. God does not need to go out of his way to bless the obedient. But he does. Sin leads to pain. God does not need to go out of his way to punish you. But he will eventually.
Btw, this is your warning.
Stay tuned to feedingjimmy.com. As God allows me to share this pain-preventing wisdom, I will. Then the pain in life can lead you to obedience.
That’s discipline, you idiot.