For all human history human beings have eaten fat. We’ve thrived doing so. We’ve spread out over the earth while eating fat. Everywhere we’ve gone we’ve encountered animals who also eat fat. This has been going on for a long time. You know, since like day 6.
Then all of a sudden in the 20th century Science declares that fat is bad for you. Science commands any animal who has will power over what he eats, which is only humans, to stop eating fat. Read more
Earthquake destruction in Pawnee Oklahoma. Thanks, windmills. (image via J Berry III)
Today a 5.6 magnitude earthquake struck Oklahoma, centered in Pawnee county, and was felt in several states. This earthquake caused a huge problem, not for dilapidated trailer-hoods or endangered prairie chickens, but for tree-hugging liberals.
The Oil Boom is over! Why are there still earthquakes in Oklahoma?
They blamed fracking for the Oklahoma Earthquake Swarm that began in 2009. But now crude oil sits under $50 a barrel. Nobody’s fracking! Read more
San Ramon California Earthquake swarm of 2015 (via usgs.gov)
When an earthquake swarm hits Oklahoma, liberals blame fracking. But when an earthquake swarm hits Northern California, what do liberals blame? Windmills? Read more
Guys, we were all so bored today that we decided to take a trip to Walmart where I saw a fight over merchandise. Yup. A fight.
My son PhilPhil ran up to a box filled with giant Mickey Mouses (selling at a roll back price of $20 each.) He grabbed one, then his little brother Baby Beebaw (aka Brian) wanted the same one.
Baby Beebaw was like, “Mine! Mine! No, Mine!” and tried to grab the Mickey Mouse that PhilPhil had.
Why he wanted that specific one, I don’t know. The box had at least 15 other ones.
So they started fighting.
My first thought was to get out my cell phone camera to take a video of a screaming two year old fight his four year-old brother for a giant Mickey Mouse plush toy.
But then I was like, no, if I could somehow get them to fight over a flatscreen, it might get more views on Youtube.
It didn’t matter anyways. The fight fizzled out before I could roll film. It’s like sensory overload there. They found some other things to run over to and dropped the Mickey Mouse on the floor.
Better get yours before they get you!
Black Friday 2015. I’m sitting here in my secure surplus military bunker as the carnage unfolds at our nation’s walmarts. This bunker has wifi, so I’m able to access drudgereport.com to stay updated on the Black Friday casualties. It’s like a tradition around here.
Kids, stop running around the bunker! Or I’ll send you to Walmart to buy a flatscreen!
Guys, remember what your Uncle said yesterday at Thanksgiving Dinner? He said, “Welp, today is the day we’re thankful for all we have. Tomorow is the day we fight for what we don’t need.”
Some people right now are like, “How did you know my Uncle said that. You weren’t there.”
Guys, your uncle says that every thanksgiving. Every uncle says that every thanksgiving.
But nobody says it better than America’s Uncle, Eddie Fitzgerald. On his blog, Uncle Eddie’s Theory Corner, he has a picto-cartoon storyboard-script about Black Friday. Check it out here.
So happy Black Friday, everyone. Get your flatscreen before you get flattened!
Guys, Drudge carried a news piece today from our friends at EnidNews.com, proclaiming Oklahoma world’s No. 1 earthquake area.
The article says that Oklahoma is unique in terms of earthquakes in the world. Then they say that the world is going through an earthquake phase. Next they quote someone who says Oklahoma is unique in terms of earthquakes in North America. Finally they say, “In North America, Oklahoma is very unique and unique in the world.”
I’m serious. Here’s the quote if you don’t believe me. Read more
Little known fact: Dr. Ben Carson got an athletic scholarship to Medical School.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, in his Time magazine column, argued that Dr. Ben Carson is anti-science and his presidency would be bad for blacks.
What?! Abdul-Jabbar must be suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from his game 7 loss to the Boston Celtics in the 1984 NBA Championships. Perhaps he’s so stung by Dennis Johnson’s stellar play in the series that he’s channeling his fustration against Dr. Carson. Read more
Donald Trump dictates the debate terms.
Guys, Donald Trump sent out a tweet last week that pretty much summed up the difference between him and Mitt Romney. Donald Trump said, “The @GOP should not agree to the ridiculous debate terms that @CNBC is asking unless there is a major benefit to the party.” Read more