Ben Carson and the Pyramids

Ben Carson claimed in a commencement speech in 1998 that he theorized Joseph built the Great Pyramids in Egypt. Liberals dug the video up and published it on the internet for the purpose of heaping scorn on Dr. Carson.

Liberals, after all, decide what is scientific. And they told an accomplished surgical Doctor of neurology that he’s unscientific.

But typical of all attacks launched by the ungodly, this will backfire. Let me explain how Dr. Carson’s Pyramid statement will actually strengthen his bid for the Republican nomination and put liberals to shame.

The Great Pyramid and Christian Creationists

The Great Pyramids of Cairo, Egypt play a part in a brand of Christianity whose followers I call Mega-Christians.

Guys, do you know who I’m talking about when I talk about Mega-Christians? They have tantalizing theories about creationism, the Nephilim, Noah’s flood, and the Great Pyramids. Of course you do. Your aunt who prays against the demons possessing her malfunctioning electronics is one.

So Creationism you certainly know about. But the Pyramids?! Doesn’t that have more to do with ancient Egyptian religion than Christianity?

No, guys. And that part of my larger point. Since so many of you liberal atheists dismiss out of hand everything Christians believe, you’re shocked to learn things about the largest demographic in the United States of America.

Let me tell you a story from my life.

In the summer of 1992, I attended a Bible camp called Camp Clear in Carver, Massachusetts. One day, after we had gone through our flannel-graph lessons on the Book of Ezekiel, the teacher did what all teachers do to fill class time. She put in a video.

Through the hissing VHS tape, and the warbling music caused by poor video tracking, a narrator with a deep booming voice explained that the Great Pyramids in Cairo were not built by the Egyptians.

Various experts appeared on the screen. Chyrons flashed with their names and credentials. They talked about how the Great Pyramid was unlike any other. It contained no hieroglyphics or religious symbols. All pyramids built after it were inferior in quality. Its construction method was unknown to this day.

After going over the mathematical wonders of the various chambers, the video declared Enoch, Noah’s grandfather, to be its builder. It cited apocryphal writings. Then it went further, saying that the passageway leading upwards prophesied future events by converting its inches into years.

Some of you may be confused right now because Dr. Carson said he thought Joseph was the builder and now I said Enoch was the builder.

Yea. And some others claim Job built the pyramids. But it’s the same idea. A Bible character built them and not the Egyptians.

Before you arrogant atheists scoff at this type of thinking, let me ask you. How did the Egyptians build the pyramids? Nobody knows! The Discovery Channel is famous for suggesting that aliens came and lent their construction technologies.

And before you disqualify Ben Carson from being president, did anyone ask Barack Obama his ideas about the Pyramids? No. Because he’s unable to think for himself. That alone sets Ben Carson apart.

Anyways, this video I saw in 1992 hit me. I had just finished 6th grade. We learned about the Pyramids in Ancient History class. It bothered me that you had this huge pyramid but only a tiny portion of it was hollowed out for a passage to a tiny tomb.

But my 6th grade teacher wouldn’t even field any my aggressively inquisitive questions about it. She said she didn’t know how or why it was built. Nobody knew.

So I took out David McCauly’s book, Pyramid, from the school library. As amazing as that book was, it left me with more burning questions. I just refused to believe it was simply a tomb or built in the way he said it was.

And so when I saw that video at Bible camp, it made more sense than what they were saying in school.

Look, it’s not like I accepted all the information presented in the video. They threw out all these facts as nearly self evident. But these facts were so mind-blowing, I would think they would be taught in class.

My incredulity, counterbalanced by my want-to-believe, fueled a long lasting investigation into the Great Pyramids.

Whenever I went to the library, I’d look for books about the Pyramids. All of them took the standard approach. It’s the kind of academic cowardice that said Columbus was the first European to land in America. The Great Pyramid was just a tomb and they fit it into their boiler-plate narrative of Egyptian history.

Then at the Christian bookstore, I’d read more about how Joseph/Job/Enoch was the actual builder. And, of course, I was skeptical of these sensational claims.

Sure, I wanted to believe that there was a biblical tie to Egyptian history at the Great Pyramids. But I was willing to admit there wasn’t a tie if I could find some honest information.

Underlying all this was a hunch that there was more to the pyramids than anyone let on. And that these mega-christians may be wrong about its builder, but there were onto something about the uniqueness of the structure itself. That alone fuel more curious research.

Enter the Internet

When the internet started, people like me could finally research obscure, esoteric, and precise topics. I didn’t want information of Egyptology. I did’t care about the Egyptian pantheon. I only cared about the Great Pyramids in Cairo.

The Internet was like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Except instead of chocolate, it’s information.

After digging deep I finally found some amazing information that confirms many of my suspicions about the Great Pyramid.

A quick note about Ron Wyatt

Now right now I want to mention a quack named Ron Wyatt. He’s a charlatan. You can look him up and read about his totally bogus claims. When I say I found some amazing things about the pyramids, I’m not talking about Ron Wyatt misinformation.

But Dr. Ben Carson in this video may well have been referring to Ron Wyatt type stuff in this video because at a Seventh Day Adventist School his type of bunk may have been popular.

But I don’t hold that against Dr. Carson because his remarks came in 1998 before the internet was built up enough that you could easily fact check like you can now.

How it will Backfire

Regardless, here’s how liberals’ attack on Ben Carson could backfire. It will fuel more internet searches into the pyramids. That will propel sites with alternative view that challenges common thinking.

In other words, Ben Carson may be wrong about the Pyramids, but he is more correct than you.

For example look at this liberal scorn from the

Carson, of course, is referring to the well-known biblical account of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, in which a dream warns Joseph, held as a slave by the Pharaoh, to stockpile grain during a period of plenty to tide Egypt over during a seven-year famine, saving the grateful nation and inspiring a musical treatment by Andrew Lloyd Webber, which is why the Egyptians worshipped Cats. And to Carson, it’s obvious the huge granaries for that project would still have to be around, since everything in the Bible actually happened, like Noah’s Ark.

And darned if the pyramids aren’t really big buildings! Really big buildings utterly unsuited to storing seven years’ worth of grain for a nation, seeing as how they’re mostly solid blocks of stone. As Smithsonian Magazine notes, the Great Pyramid of Giza’s “known passages and vaults occupy a mere 1/7,400th of its volume,” which seems like a hell of a lot of insulation with very little room left for grain storage.

So the wonkette refutes Dr. Carson with false information. Look at the end of this quote. “Seeing as how they’re mostly solid blocks of stone.”

That may not be true! The pyramids may not be stone all the way through. They could be filled with sand or something else.

That’s what I think these people don’t get. They just jump on an idea without consideration. Just like how that muslim kid who “made” a clock. All these liberals came to his defense saying he’s a clock making genius. They didn’t exercise caution. That kid didn’t make a clock. He took apart an old one as a publicity stunt.

Liberals jumped without looking.

Same thing here.

Ben Carson isn’t saying that they stored grain in the known passages of the Great Pyramid. He’s saying he theorizes the pyramid itself sealed grain in its interior walls.

That’s part of the cutting edge information that may come to light as a part of this brewhaha. Remember how I said that thanks to the internet I found amazing information about the pyramid?

The information I found wasn’t from Christian sites trying to prove so-and-so built the pyramids. It’s from engineers trying to figure out how they were built.

One of the most amazing things is that there may be a winding secret chamber spiraling upward inside the pyramid.

The amazing thing has to do with drilling through the walls. I read somewhere that some guy did that and sand poured out.

So these Ben Carson haters might make themselves look stupid when it turns out that what they were taught in elementary school about the pyramids was totally incorrect.

How it will help the Carson Campaign.

Listen to just the first few minutes of the speech. Dr. Carson says, “My own personal theory is that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain.” Key in on the phrase “My own personal theory.” This idea about the pyramids used to store grain is a personal theory. I would call it a pet theory.

Now here’s how it will help his campaign.


When you make fun of Carson’s pet theory, I take it as a low blow.

We Christians all have pet theories about some of the more outlandish things in the Bible such as creation or the flood of Noah.

If you get 100 Christians into the room, you will have 100 different pet theories about the flood of Noah. Why? Because we’re rational people.

So we might not agree with Dr. Carson because it’s just a pet theory. But he enjoyed sharing it like we all do about our pet theories. And so we identify with him. And we’re more likely to vote for him.

But liberal atheists automatically dismiss our pet theories as irrational and absurd.

Okay. What about Barack Obama’s pet theory about how my diesel truck is causing global warming? That’s total bunk.

You arrogant atheists act immune to religious hoaxes but there you are propagating the unproved tenants of global warming with religious fervor.

Ben Carson’s pet theories don’t hurt anybody. They may lead to more investigation of the pyramids that could prove beneficial.

Barack Obama’s pet theories shut down coal plants and put men and women out of work.


Write a Comment: