Romney Predicted Putin would Invade Ukraine. Wow.

Paul Ryan wants everyone to know Mitt Romney was right. He predicted in the 2012 presidential campaign that Russia was our biggest national security threat, and they would attack Ukraine.

Paul Ryan is like, “Hey everyone, we told you so. That’s amazing right?!”
And everyone is like, *unenthusiastic arrhythmic clapping.*

And he’s waiting for a crescendo of clapping that culminates in a standing ovation, but it just dies out at two or three claps per person. But really only a few people were perfunctorily clapping, and at least one had no idea why.

Then the only noise is Paul Ryan’s heavy breathing into the microphone.
That wasn’t really a bold prediction, buddy. (Sarah Palin made it too.) Saying that Russia would invade an unarmed Ukraine is like saying the New England Patriots will defeat the Buffalo Bills. Okay, by how much? (You want to see a bold Patriots prediction, watch this video.)

When has Russia *not* attacked its neighbors?
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America, Asleep Like Jonah

This Sunday my pastor preached out of the book of Jonah. And we all got a good laugh out of God’s prophet falling asleep in the bottom of the boat during the storm.

Can we Americans really laugh at Jonah? Aren’t we a city on a hill? Yet we are rebelling against God’s commands. There’s a storm brewing all around the globe. Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran are all gearing up for war against us. It would be better for us if we were actually asleep to this storm.

But we’re not. We’re just rolling around the bilge like its a game.

Everything is a game to the over-entertained, sleep-deprived American.

Look at how Sleep is a theme in the Bible. Fools always sleep at the wrong time. For example at harvest when it’s time to work. Or most famously when Jesus asked his disciples to stay alert and pray right before his betrayal.

America found a folly worse than sleep. Entertainment.
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Who cares if Michael Sam is gay? (Answer: Liberals.)

who cares if Michael sam is gay

Who cares if Michael Sam is Gay? Civil rights leaders such as the hosts of “Men on Films” do. *snap snap snap*

So an openly gay man is going to play in the NFL. Yawn! Can you let me know when the NFL drafts a woman?

A lot of people wonder: Who cares if Michael Sam is gay? Does it make a difference if an NFL player is gay?

Well, let’s not pretend a gay man hasn’t been on a 53 man roster at some point in the league’s history. But Michael Sam stands poised to become the first openly gay man. Unless a current player comes out of the closet before the draft, of course.

Rush Limbaugh even posed the question. Why do liberals make such a big deal of Michael Sam? And yesterday he asked it like a riddle. Why do liberals make a political issue out of homosexuality?

I’ll answer that question just like I did last week concerning the push for amnesty. It’s because the liberals, the democrats, and yes, even your president, all hate God.

You see, gay marriage has nothing to do with sex. It has to do with gender. God created gender and marriage. Liberals, prompted by their hatred for God, struggle to erase the distinctions between man and woman and in so doing, rid the fingerprints of God from creation.

Gay marriage in one fell swoop desecrates marriage and obliterates gender.

Gay marriage has nothing to do with sex.

To prove this point let’s evaluate the claim that marriage discriminates against gays.

If that were true, when I went to marry Denise, the New York State court clerk would have required us to prove neither of us were gay before she granted our marriage license. As it was, we just applied as bride and groom. In fact, she didn’t even ask who was the bride and who was the groom.

Gay marriage doesn’t discriminate against straights either. When two men apply for their marriage license at Boston city hall, they are not required to prove their homosexuality. Good thing. It’s tough enough walking through that nightmarish building without seeing gay public displays of affection.

All gay marriage does is abolish the legal acknowledgement of gender. But why?

Look at page one of the Bible. What refrain is repeated on day 6 of creation? “Male and female, he created them.” Do you see that God created gender? Every creature that swims, flies, or crawls on the earth is either male or female.

God took special steps to create man. Then from him took extra ordinary steps to make woman. She’s the jewel of creation. The union between man and his woman is described this way: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and the two will become one flesh.”

Marriage. What a thing of mysterious beauty. It’s God who set Love in motion. Who can be against it?

Liberals. They hate it. It’s unequal and therefore unfair.

Why should it be that only a man and a woman can have such deep, spiritual, intimate union? Why can’t two men or two women? Following this delusion, liberals hijack our government and direct it full steam against the brick wall of God’s reality.

God is unfair.

If men and woman are different and unequal things are unfair, then God in creating gender is unfair.

But wait, it gets worse. Ever hear the phrase “the weaker sex?” It comes from the Bible. In Peter’s first epistle. Open your eyes to the fact that men are stronger than women.

What is the best, most incontrovertible example of this inequality of strength between man and woman?

Women in the NFL.

No women play in the NFL. No woman has ever played in the NFL. No woman ever will.

The physical demands of the job lay light years beyond what a woman is physically capable of enduring.

Could a woman play football? I mean, yea, uhh, I guess. She could hold a football and run with it. But each roster spot in the NFL pays at minimum $285,000. With all the millions of dollars at stake and the chance to achieve athletic glory and acclaim, the men who play in the NFL are the cream of the cream of all athletes in the world — and even human history.

And the women are on the sideline cheering them on.

Consider Sebastian Vollmer. 6’8″ 320 lbs. 37″ standing vertical leap. He benched 225 lbs 32 times on Pro Day. Originally from Germany, he emigrated to the USA to ultimately play for the New England Patriots. He has a base salary of $17 million over the next four years playing in the NFL.

With that kind of money, where’s the 320 lb woman vying for his job? Well, if a chick weighs that much, she isn’t doing much jumping. The only thing she’s pressing is ham paninis.

Is there some grand conspiracy to keep women out of the NFL? Yes. And the conspirator is sitting on a throne in heaven.

The Super Bowl championship for Liberals would be for a woman to play in the NFL. But the nature of reality keeps defeating their delusional aspirations time after time after time.

So they are left holding a consolation prize. An AFC championship of sorts.

An openly gay player in the NFL. Is that remarkable? Yes. But is it a championship victory? No. Sam is not a woman, he’s just a gay man.

Liberals are the Buffalo Bills of undermining God’s creation.

Why Do Republicans Push For Amnesty?

This week, if you listened to Rush Limbaugh, you heard him in agony, befuddled the question: Why do republicans push for amnesty? They are committing political suicide by pushing for amnesty! Guys, I can explain why. It’s because of He who lends Limbaugh his talent. God-dddddddddd.

Specifically, the Republicans push for amnesty to reject their association with God.

Don’t get the connection? You will by the end of this post. But first you need to understand the sociological and spiritual context of the USA.

Barack Obama hates God. And the Democrats rebel against God and everything he stands for. Now the problem with rebelling against God is that he’s too far away and too invisible to attack. So the ungodly are left to attack those who in their minds stand for God. And in the Democrats’ case, Republicans stand for God.

Some people right now are like, “Jimmy, you’ve jumped the shark. There’s no way the Republican buffoons are any thing like God.”

Yea, in real life they are not like God. But we’re not talking about IRL. We’re talking about the delusional minds of liberals.

The liberals imagine a straw man Republican. This filthy rich, white, obese man even looks like a pig in his dapper pinstriped suit. He lights huge cigars with wads of cash and laughs through the smoke, slapping the back of his rich power broker friends, recalling how they swindled the poor to line their own pockets.

To top it all off this jerk married a woman, got her pregnant, and didn’t give her the choice whether to carry it to term or not. Jerk.

Do you see how the straw man Republican puts a pejorative spin on God’s attributes? God is powerful. All powerful in fact. God is rich. He owns everything. God is successful. Even when they tried to kill his son, he used it to victory. Furthermore he rigged this world so that he alone has the secret plan for success. The Bible.

And to top it all off, God made woman to bear children. That is the greatest unfairness of all.

This is why when Obama decreed that woman shouldn’t pay for birth control, the Democrats took it as a slam against the Republicans. In real life, what does birth control have to do with the Republican Party? Nothing. But in the delusional mind of Democrats, it was a direct hit against God, represented by successful white men, on behalf of women, who unfairly get pregnant.

Don’t like what I’m saying? Neither do the Republicans. They don’t want to suffer the scorn of the ungodly. They yearn for a political system of cordial, honorable cooperation. Even when they are at odds with the Democrats, they want to swirl whiskey with them when the dust settles. They want to win the esteem of their opposition, like gentlemen on the 18th century battlefield, who shake hands and congratulate each other for a gallant fight.

They don’t care to win. If the Democrats are ice cream, they just want to be a different flavor. All that matters is that the juvenile in this country scream for them too. And invite them to star-studded galas. And speak glowingly of them on the evening news. And broadcast puff pieces about them on the E! Entertainment news after that. Oh, and that TMZ would lay off them.

The Republican’s problem is that the ungodly will never esteem God. So they wonder, “How can we shake this ‘God’ reputation we have and shift it to the Tea Party?”

And here’s how they do it. God is a God of Law. The Bible is full of rules. Life is full of rules that God wrote. The whole universe operates on rules, created by God to order everything. This extends from the highest heavens to the earth, to our society and personal lives. Law.

In our country, the essence of law is to be a citizen. Illegal aliens defy the law just by the nature of their existence. To advocate for amnesty would be to pass a law against Law, and so annihilate justice on behalf of “fairness.”

When the Republicans say they want amnesty they are saying they want the praise of Democrats above the honor of God. They want the will of man above the Law of God.

Amnesty is the death blow to their symbolic representation of God.

God doesn’t need to kill the Republican Party for denying him. By giving them what they want, they kill themselves.

“Like a muddied spring or polluted fountain is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked.” Proverbs 25:26

Christmas, Dick Blumenthal, and FedEx

The way Senator Dick Blumenthol (D) treated UPS and Fed Ex this Christmas proves my adage: Americans want the good things without the God things. In fact, each year at Christmas, Americans prove this to a higher degree than the previous year. It’s to the point that I’m ready to predict next year will be the last Christmas ever.

You probably heard on the news that in the few days preceding Christmas, UPS and Fed Ex could not keep up with the last minute flood of gift orders. In fact, some people didn’t get their little Christmas presents in time for Christmas. Oh no! So sad! :’(

But you probably didn’t hear that Connecticut’s senior senator took a public stand against the delivery companies, demanding that they refund the customers. Here is his statement, from the Wilton Patch:

“I am disappointed to learn that so many consumers in Connecticut and across the country made purchases this holiday season expecting their gifts to arrive in time for Christmas, but instead were left empty-handed. The men and women of UPS – as well as the United States Postal Service and FedEx – do tremendous work this time of year, putting in grueling, long hours delivering gifts, and we are all grateful for their efforts. It is incumbent upon these companies, however, that when a customer is quoted a delivery date ahead of Christmas, gifts arrive on time. In a very real sense, Christmas is on the line. I call on UPS to do the right thing and provide refunds to people whose Christmases were a little less cheery as a result of their late deliveries.”

Oh. Okay. Did these companies violate a federal law by not delivering the packages by christmas? Uhh, No. If they issued a guarantee, then their own reputation is on the line to honor the terms of that guarantee. But if Dick Blumenthol wants to hold an entity to its explicitly stated guarantee, perhaps “if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor,” would be a better place to start.

Yet that’s not the point. Here it is. Look at the first sentence of this post. What letter is next to Blumenthol’s name? D. We’re talking about Christmas here. Do the Godless liberals of the Democrat party defend the public celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ? No. They attack every detail of the holiday to absurd lengths. The colors red and green are not safe from liberal’s prohibitions.

Liberals want the presents! Don’t get them wrong. They just don’t want Christmas. They want you and everyone else to start buying things the day after Thanksgiving for absolutely no reason at all. Then give those things to each other promptly on December 25, which you’ll have off from work. But again, that day has no significance.

Liberals want the good things without the God things.

Liberals want the good things NOW! They demand the good things be delivered on EXACTLY before the day that they do not want to name, lest Jesus Christ be given a token of honor.

Well, you know what else is a God thing? Gratefulness.

Look, I belong to the Elephant party. I remember things. One of those things I remember is the 1980s. Back then, my sugary breakfast cereal said I could order a limited edition Sergeant Slaughter GI JOE action figure. But there was one major stipulation. I had to wait six to eight weeks for it to arrive.

And that was after cutting out an entry form, filling it out, putting it in an envelope, attaching postage, going to the post office and mailing it! (BTW, I destroyed that action figure during the Gulf War when Sergeant Slaughter betrayed America.)

UPS and Fed Ex smashed the whole “wait six to eight weeks to arrive.” Are you grateful for UPS and Fed Ex enacting a huge change in our American life? A change we never thought possible.

We’ve always wanted things right away. And with 1800 numbers and such, we’ve been able to order things right away. But to physically receive something right away is a marvelous feat. I am extra grateful to these stellar companies for doing just that.

Typical of Americans who want the good things without the God things is the ungratefulness that follows the amazing. UPS and FedEx perform this amazing service day in and day out to the point that we expect it. Who’s kidding who? We DEMAND it!

Lots of people ask why God doesn’t perform miracles all the time. This is why. If miracles were common place, we’d get used to them, expect them, then demand them as if they were owed to us.

Life is a miracle, my friend. And it covers this earth. Yet we take it for granted.

I don’t take you guys for granted. Thanks for reading and I hope you had a Merry Christmas. Happy New Year.

Oh, and one more thing, since we were speaking of ordering toys online.

I have a Facebook friend whose son loves vintage wrestling figures. One time she left her computer logged into eBay and the kid ordered a ton of 80′s WWF Superstars. Lol! That’s my kind of kid. He even joined a wrestling club. I was going to post on her wall, “Hey, Lorena, your kid is the best.” But then I thought, no that would be creepy. So I just wrote about it on my blog instead.

Life Originated Underground.

life originated underground

Guys, I already disproved science. But that didn’t stop some numbskull scientists from postulating a new scientific theory that the origin of life on Earth occurred deep underground. This theory rests on the discovery of genetically similar subterranean microbes all over the globe. And with the publication of this theory, we find a predictable argument in the comments section: Creationists and evolutionists bickering in a manner reminiscent of my dogs fighting over the chance to eat a crunchy poop.

Right now some people are like, “Jimmy, you love to comment on articles. I’m sure you chimed right in.”

No. I already I disproved science, so why would I defend evolution?

And they’re like, “We thought you were creationist.”

Pssh. No. Don’t insult my intelligence. I don’t believe in creationism. I certainly don’t believe in science. Like I said. I disproved it. Watch my video.

God’s trump card is, and has always been, that he was there when he created the earth and we weren’t. That’s why the creationist versus evolutionist debate is a stupid waste of time. We will never know for sure how God made the universe. Read more

I Disagree with Pastor Mark Driscoll about Abortion

mark driscoll abortion

I need to disrespectfully disagree with Pastor Mark Driscoll. Again.

He quoted Proverbs 8:36 in a Facebook post to promote his 10 Commandments sermon series. But he put in these bad brackets and totally misquoted and ruined the verse.

Mark Driscoll wrote, “All who hate me [God] love death.”

No. No. No. The “me” in this verse is not God. The “me” in this verse is a woman. Her name is Wisdom! Some say I’m splitting hairs. I’m not. This woman makes a major point about a form of murder. Abortion.

So I demanded a correction. I didn’t get one. Then just this week, he quotes again from the Woman Wisdom’s monologue in Proverbs Chapter 8, and commits the same error suggesting that it was Jesus who says, “He who fails to find me injures himself.”

mark driscoll abortion

C’mon now!

Right now some people are like, “Jimmy, why would you be so rude to such a stellar Christian leader as Pastor Mark?”

Because I’m an aspiring Bible preacher. And being a preacher is a lot like being in prison. To establish yourself, you need to identify the top dog then beat him in a fight. Otherwise the other inmates will steal your cigarettes from under your pillow. By that, I mean other preachers will steal your sermon illustrations. (Pastors are the biggest sermon illustration thieves ever.) Read more

God is punishing me


God is punishing me.

Some people right now are like, “Jimmy, that’s awful. God doesn’t punish people.”

Uhh, have you ever read the Bible? God is always punishing people. That’s pretty much what the Bible is all about. Scripture says that God “feels indignation every day.”

Right now some people, seeking to take advantage of my sentiment, are like, “Jimmy, sure. God might be punishing you. Yea. Maybe because of those terrible things you wrote about homosexuals on Uh huh. That’s it. Hehe.” (That’s nervous laughter.)
No, you idiot! This just goes to show that you *really* don’t even believe in God. You think God exists in the collective imagination of society. Therefore you suggest to the gullible that God only says nice things and you steer them clear of the Holy Bible.
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The Most Chilling Words Spoken By Obama. Ever.

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You would think President Barack Obama would be happy after the debt deal ended the government shutdown. After all, he humiliated the Republicans, who submitted to his will and painfully gave in to his demands. No. You thought wrong. In a news conference today, Obama angrily uttered the most chilling words.

He said, “something something something … don’t listen to blogs, Fox News, or talk radio.”

Was this chilling because the president used his influence to curb free speech? No.

Was it chilling because of the suggestion he’d use his office to intimidate his political opponents? No. I’m not at all surprised by that anymore.

Was it chilling because the president obviously doesn’t have any clear policy objectives, he just wants to destroy one opponent after the other?

No! Look. I’m going to tell you why it’s chilling if you stop asking all these questions.
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The Republicans are Obama’s Bitch

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Barack Obama has this novelty T-shirt. It’s pretty cute and really funny. On the back it says, “If you can read this, the Republicans fell off.”

Lol. Get it?

Just imagine Obama riding around Washington, D.C., on his Vespa. And the Republicans on the back riding bitch. Because that’s what they do. Republicans on Capitol Hill are Obama’s bitch.

Everywhere, all around the world, various entities make Obama their bitch. But in the whole world, there’s only one group of people who give in to Obama and take it. And that’s the Republicans.

Now, we’re getting into the psychology of sodomy here, which I really don’t understand. But I would imagine that if you are a man, and you play bitch too often, eventually you gotta want your own bitch.
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Should the Republicans negotiate with Obama?

Obama angry

Should the Republicans negotiate with Obama?


Listen. I hate when preachers preach about preaching. I hate it when people talk about talking. I hate reading about writing. If you’re gonna preach, then just preach. If you want to say something, then just talk. If you want to write, please write about something other than writing. Okay? And I hate when people negotiate about negotiating.

Right now the Republicans are negotiating about negotiating with Obama. If the Republicans want to negotiate with Obama, they need to do it without talking to him.
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Gallbladder Update!

Turns out that more people suffer from gallstones than I knew. It was encouraging to hear the stories. Thanks for praying. May God bless you guys.

The Scariest noise in the World. (for babies.)

Guys, a lot of people are wondering how to make the scariest noise in the world but for babies. But they want to generate the noise solely with their mouths. Okay, you dumb-dumbs, listen up.

The world’s scariest noise for babies is a tri-tone dissonant generated by first, deep vocal rumblings reminiscent of a large WWII aircraft. Layer on top of that buzzing from the left side of your clenched lips. The third tone is also lip buzzing but from the right side of your mouth.

Practice this. But not in the presence of an infant child. You don’t want to spoil the surprise you’d have when you abruptly subject him to this noise.

Just watch the video to see how effective it is.

My Gallbladder Attack Story #prayforjimmysgallbladder

Guys, I suffered a fierce gallbladder attack on Saturday.

Are you happy with the George Zimmerman verdict?

Are you happy with the George Zimmerman verdict?

Everywhere I look, I see people who are very happy about the verdict. People like Ted Nugent, who love justice, are happy.

And then there’s a whole group of people, let’s just call them fools, who are happy too. They’re ostensibly angry about the verdict, but that gives them the chance to run around and act like fools. That gives them the chance to throw little temper tantrums, like in Times Square. And vent on FaceBook about how angry they are. They’re going to punch things. These fools love to rage against the machine. And if there’s one thing they’re sad about, it’s that there aren’t enough machines to rage against, now that George Bush isn’t President anymore.

I am happy about the verdict because I am on the cause of justice. So I’m happy that George Zimmerman won’t be falsely punished for crimes he didn’t commit. I’m glad that he was found not guilty. But I’m also a little bit sad, because that’s not enough. Trayvon Martin should be posthumously charged with disorderly conduct and assault. Okay?
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The Tragedy in Boston

The tragedy in Boston.

Today the warm spring winds rustled the newly sprouted buds on the trees. Bostonians would normally enjoy this sound after a long winter. Yet the constant backdrop of sirens spoiled its sweetness as countless emergency vehicles sped down our roads. Boston and its surrounding communities are on lock down. Residents are warned to avoid travel. Businesses are advised to stay closed. Families in Watertown cannot even leave their houses.

If you did travel this morning, you could hardly even get into the left lane of the highway. A constant stream of Police cars, police trucks, and police motorcycles from surrounding departments kept pouring into town, treating the left lane like their own 90 mph HOV lane.

When my wife saw the military style vehicles on the news, she incredulously asked where they even park these monsters. Who knew Massachusetts owned these trucks? (I did. Massachusetts is actually on the forefront of designing and manufacturing many of these weapon technologies.)

All this, and just yesterday President Barack Obama swooped into town for an interfaith healing service. Can you believe it? Just yesterday! To compare the vainglory of yesterday with the sober, martial environment of today, I just marvel about how idiotic Obama is.

And not just idiotic. Hapless. As I type this, I hear on the radio that the suspects’ Cambridge apartment was a bomb factory. If these guys evaded the Marathon’s bomb detection, why did Obama think that his Secret Service could thwart them?

When Obama landed, the FBI did not have the identities of the suspects confirmed. They were still at large. The FBI didn’t know how many were involved with them. What was Obama thinking to even come to Boston and divert our attention away from apprehending the terrorists?

He was thinking it was his job to defy the fear of terrorists. He was thinking it was his job to ramble on like a black preacher and tell us we shall run again. He was thinking it was his job to inspire us.

Oh, how cute. But that’s not his job. He’s not the nation’s chief inspirative. He’s the country’s chief executive. His job is to execute the laws congress enacts. His job is to execute judgement against criminals. His job is to execute our nation’s enemies. His job is to capture and execute the Boston Bombers.

“One who is slack in his work
is brother to one who destroys.” Proverbs 18:9

Speaking of idiocy, an interfaith service is idiotic in itself. Can we really sit down and pray in a house of worship with Islam’s followers? No. To deny America’s enemies are Musilm is a delusion. It’s a tragic delusion.

The bombings in Boston were not a tragedy. The bombings were an atrocity. The tragedy was the interfaith healing service.

The bombers were not insane. They were evil. The insane are the liberals who repeatedly refuse to acknowledge our Muslim enemies.

The tragedy of Boston is liberalism. The insane are Boston’s liberal Governor, Senators, and President. The insane liberals allowed Muslim terrorists into our country to begin with.

Remember what I say. A liberal misunderstands the nature of God and is disconnected from reality. God commands us to execute judgement against the lawless. Liberals want to excuse laws, lest they be judgmental.

It is not good to be partial to the wicked
and so deprive the innocent of justice.” (Proverbs 18:5)

Pray for Boston (post about Patriots Day postponed)

pray for boston

Guys, if you can read this, thank God. If you have all your limbs and are uninjured, thank God. If your friends and loved ones are alive and well, thank God. In terrible moments like this, I can only bow my heart before God and pray for his mercy. We can only pray for God’s mercy on Boston and everyone visiting to run the Marathon. Not everyone who was at the race today made it out uninjured. May Father God bless those victims and heal them.

One of the things we must pray for is justice. The perpetrators of this violent act deserve death. The President addressed the nation and said we must find why they did this. No. I don’t care why. May their reasons die with them. There is no valid reason to carry our such an atrocity.

Boston massacre

You cannot forget or ignore things like this.

Out of deference for these victims of the crimes committed today, the video scheduled to drop will be postponed. The video explains what Patriots Day is about. Btw, the Minutemen had the Boston Massacre in mind when they mustered against the Red Coats. I hope that our nation’s leaders will not forget the victims today when they execute judgement against these pukes.

“The Lord examines the righteous,
but the wicked, those who love violence,
he hates with a passion.
On the wicked he will rain
fiery coals and burning sulfur;
a scorching wind will be their lot.” Psalm 11:5-6

Everyone in the country feels such a burden after witnessing the bloody scenes on Boston’s streets. Unlike watching similar scenarios broadcast from distant lands, seeing a terrorist bomb the city I know well and love very much hurts deeply. There’s Blood right there on the sidewalks of Boylston Street. Blood! It chills my blood to see it.

Thank God for Boston’s first responders! May they find any undetonated bombs, if there are any. Thank God for Boston’s hospitals. May God give them wisdom to mend the broken bodies.

May God bless you and comfort you, too.

“You, God, see the trouble of the afflicted;
you consider their grief and take it in hand.
The victims commit themselves to you;
you are the helper of the fatherless.
Break the arm of the wicked man;
call the evildoer to account for his wickedness
that would not otherwise be found out.” Psalm 10:14

With tears, Jimmy.


Featured image from @BostonTweet: Beautiful Boston Sunset Tonight After our Darkest Day – “Say a prayer for Boston tonight” (pic @berkie1) 

What is God’s Will for my Life? (Answer: Life Pickles)

life pickles

So I took to facebook to post a life update which was as follows:

LIFE UPDATE: We’re moving on April 29. A lot of people ask me where to and what my new job is. I don’t know. yet. I believe it’s God’s will for us to move. So it’s God’s responsibility to provide us with these things. So stop asking me! Ask God! In prayer! Thanks.

A bunch of my friends commented with a great deal of encouragement. And some also gave sales pitches for their own cities. (I just want everyone to know that I’ll only move my family to a Red State.) Each of these friends live lives of faith, so they commiserate with our situation.

God purposefully leads his faithful into life pickles that confound our expectations and challenge our faith. Read more

My Social Media Strategy

social media strategy

My social media strategy stinks. Typical of other aspects of my life, it’s a failure. (I am a failure at life.) Yet I don’t give up because of my faith and hope in God and his vindication. Until then, I feel called by God to bash my head against the wall with endurance and patience.

This is pretty preposterous I know. Everybody hates me, everybody hopes I die. This is true on twitter where I have over 1000 unfollowers. This is true on youtube where most of my videos go viral. (That is to say they make people sick and they avoid them.) This is true on Facebook where my wall is constructed of blocks. This is true on tumblr where bloggers ignore my questions and answer annon’s. This is especially true IRL. I ask people to checkout my website I never hear from them or see them again.

Why don’t I just give up on social media? Believe me, I’d love to. Except God revealed to me some amazing things in his Word. With it came a burning in my chest stronger than a Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos Taco heartburn. Most days I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. But a positive nervous breakdown.

I must get this message out. And social media is a MEDIUM for information. My failures to this point will do nothing but prove that any traction I get from now on comes from God.

I must convey this message through any MEDIUM at my disposal. Including twitter, youtube, Facebook, tumblr and IRL. Especially IRL. So many of us are sick of hunching over a small illuminated screen at all hours of the day and night. Would you like to look into my eyes – in person – as I teach you about the food eating freedom that we have in Jesus Christ?

We’re all tired of the snide, drunken cynicism on twitter. We’re all tired of the pretentious, guilt-ridden scrapbooking on Facebook. We’ve had enough of the psudo-intellectual heel biting on tumblr. (not to mention porn. what’s wrong with these kids on tumblr. They have interior design posts then suddenly a pornographic image. Oh, sorry. It’s art.) Pinterest? I’m not even sure I’m allowed to log onto there. It’s like that magazine Real Simple. They don’t really make it clear if it’s just for women or not. youtube. I’m not going to say anything bad about youtube. But I’m sure that some people somewhere are tired of it. I guess the most sickening thing there is the shameless self promotion.

Ok. But if I use all these social media for the purpose of conveying the Gospel of Jesus Christ then LOOK OUT. And I mean the actual Gospel. Not this liberal nonsense that gets spread around today. That’s my new social media strategy. Make every thought captive and obedient to Christ. And also to emphasize this message IRL.

Gay Marriage is Wrong

Same sex marriage is wrong

It’s amazing that the same society that bases itself on Science is too stupid to tell the difference between a woman’s vagina and a man’s anus. But here we are handing out marriage licenses so men can legally sodomize each other. No. Gay marriage is wrong.

Our government cares so much about its population that it controls what we eat and smoke. Yet the government disregards the fact that sodomy’s participants enter the diaper years early on in life. Can Obamacare really afford to pay for diapers for middle aged gay men?

To the liberals here in America, this is hate speech. Yet this alludes to ancient words in the Bible. Are you trying to say the Holy Bible is hate speech? Read more