I saw a Black Friday fight at Walmart

blackfriday fight

source: tumblr

Guys, we were all so bored today that we decided to take a trip to Walmart where I saw a fight over merchandise. Yup. A fight.

My son PhilPhil ran up to a box filled with giant Mickey Mouses (selling at a roll back price of $20 each.) He grabbed one, then his little brother Baby Beebaw (aka Brian) wanted the same one.

Baby Beebaw was like, “Mine! Mine! No, Mine!” and tried to grab the Mickey Mouse that PhilPhil had.

Why he wanted that specific one, I don’t know. The box had at least 15 other ones.

So they started fighting.

My first thought was to get out my cell phone camera to take a video of a screaming two year old fight his four year-old brother for a giant Mickey Mouse plush toy.

But then I was like, no, if I could somehow get them to fight over a flatscreen, it might get more views on Youtube.

It didn’t matter anyways. The fight fizzled out before I could roll film. It’s like sensory overload there. They found some other things to run over to and dropped the Mickey Mouse on the floor.

#BlackFriday 2015

Black Friday 2015

Better get yours before they get you!

Black Friday 2015. I’m sitting here in my secure surplus military bunker as the carnage unfolds at our nation’s walmarts. This bunker has wifi, so I’m able to access drudgereport.com to stay updated on the Black Friday casualties. It’s like a tradition around here.

Kids, stop running around the bunker! Or I’ll send you to Walmart to buy a flatscreen!

Guys, remember what your Uncle said yesterday at Thanksgiving Dinner? He said, “Welp, today is the day we’re thankful for all we have. Tomorow is the day we fight for what we don’t need.”

Some people right now are like, “How did you know my Uncle said that. You weren’t there.”

Guys, your uncle says that every thanksgiving. Every uncle says that every thanksgiving.

But nobody says it better than America’s Uncle, Eddie Fitzgerald. On his blog, Uncle Eddie’s Theory Corner, he has a picto-cartoon storyboard-script about Black Friday. Check it out here.

So happy Black Friday, everyone. Get your flatscreen before you get flattened!

Okay, you’re thankful. But to whom?

George Washington's Thanksgiving Proclamation of 1789

George Washington’s Thanksgiving Proclamation of 1789 (via mountvernon.org)

Happy Thanksgiving, guys. I hope you’re having a good time with your friends and family. Perhaps you’re rattling off all the things you’re thankful for. That’s what this holiday is all about, right? To be thankful. And thankfully, we don’t need to think too hard to come up with a cornucopia of wonderful things that we Americans enjoy.

I just got one question. To whom are you thankful?

You grammar police are thankful I phrased this question correctly. I said “to whom are you thankful?” rather than “who are you thankful to?” Well, with that, I’m thankful I don’t have the grammar police harping on me right now.

So let’s continue using correct grammar, shall we? Read more

The Worldwide Travel Alert will soon change to a Stateside Travel Alert

Seal of the United States Department of State

Today the United States Department of State issued a blanket warning to all Americans traveling anywhere over the world. Due to terrorism abroad, travelers should exercise caution. The Worldwide Travel Alert states:

The State Department alerts U.S. citizens to possible risks of travel due to increased terrorist threats. Current information suggests that ISIL (aka Da’esh), al-Qa’ida, Boko Haram, and other terrorist groups continue to plan terrorist attacks in multiple regions. These attacks may employ a wide variety of tactics, using conventional and non-conventional weapons and targeting both official and private interests. This Travel Alert expires on February 24, 2016.


So I got a question.

How long will it be before the United States issues a travel advisory for Americans traveling domestically? Read more

Christmas is like a Meaningless Wedding

christmas is like a meaningless wedding

I feel like a jerk for saying this, but hey, we can save lots of money by not doing christmas/your wedding.

It’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but how many stores have you been in that are already decked out with tinsel, ornamented spruce trees, and blinking lights?

Too many, right?! If you’re like me, the early onset of Christmas makes you sick. In fact, you know what it reminds me of? Meaningless weddings. Read more

Home-made knife wielding tentacle

Guys, I’m building a knife wielding tentacle. But the only reason is to protect myself against this guy’s home-made knife wielding tentacle.

It’s an Arduino based design. He has some other videos where he shows his design and inner workings.

(h/t boingboing)


Why I don’t stand with France


The Victory of Montcalm’s Troops at Carillon by Henry Alexander Ogden. via

I don’t stand with France because I don’t want to get blown up. They let in Muslims by the thousands, then they act surprised when Muslims did what Muslims do. They kill.

Guys, if you stand with the French and you won’t be standing for long. Your legs will get blown off.

You know what I stand for? I stand for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I stand against Islam. Christianity makes men like God. Islam makes men like dogs.

Liberalism makes men mad. (mad as in insane.) Read more

Patriots Prediction vs. Giants – Week 10 – 2015

Guys, a lot of people think the New York Giants and Coach Tom Coughlin have the Patriots number.

Yes, they won some big victories over the Patriots. But here’s how they did it: Coughlin made his athletes play good fundamentals.

Fundamentals. that’s what the patriots’ victims stray away from. For some reason they think they need to play in a fancy pants, funky, tricky-dick way.

The Giants can play good fundamentals today, but here’s the problem: They don’t have the same athletes. A lot of the talent isn’t there this year.

Peterbilt Keys to the Game

The key to this game is to bump and hit Shane Vareen to negate the quick, short pass for the Giants’ quarterback, Eli Manning. Make him throw deep right into Duran Harmon’s hands.

Eli Manning is too stupid to know he should lose. That’s the strength of his stupidity. The weakness of his stupidity is that he’s poor at managing the clock. Watch to see if he flubs the end of the half.


Oklahoma world’s number 1 for Earthquakes and windmills

Guys, Drudge carried a news piece today from our friends at EnidNews.com, proclaiming Oklahoma world’s No. 1 earthquake area.

The article says that Oklahoma is unique in terms of earthquakes in the world. Then they say that the world is going through an earthquake phase. Next they quote someone who says Oklahoma is unique in terms of earthquakes in North America. Finally they say, “In North America, Oklahoma is very unique and unique in the world.”

I’m serious. Here’s the quote if you don’t believe me. Read more

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar said Dr. Ben Carson is an anti-Science racist.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, in his Time magazine column, argued that Dr. Ben Carson is anti-science and his presidency would be bad for blacks.

What?! Abdul-Jabbar must be suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from his game 7 loss to the Boston Celtics in the 1984 NBA Championships. Perhaps he’s so stung by Dennis Johnson’s stellar play in the series that he’s channeling his fustration against Dr. Carson. Read more

Ben Carson and the Pyramids

Ben Carson claimed in a commencement speech in 1998 that he theorized Joseph built the Great Pyramids in Egypt. Liberals dug the video up and published it on the internet for the purpose of heaping scorn on Dr. Carson.

Liberals, after all, decide what is scientific. And they told an accomplished surgical Doctor of neurology that he’s unscientific.

But typical of all attacks launched by the ungodly, this will backfire. Let me explain how Dr. Carson’s Pyramid statement will actually strengthen his bid for the Republican nomination and put liberals to shame. Read more

The 1976 Paul Lynde Halloween Special starring a Peterbilt 359

Guys, last year I heard through boingboing.net about the Paul Lynde Halloween television special. They took delight in the appearance by the heavy metal band KISS. But I got to tell you something. The real star of the show is the Peterbilt 359!

I have the above youtube video cued up to start at the 15:00 mark when the trucking themed subplot begins. Paul Lynde makes a wish with a wicked witch to become a trucker. Not just a wicked witch. The Wicked Witch of Wizard of Oz. And she turns him into the Rhinestone Trucker.

By the way, some of you may be wondering who Paul Lynde is. He’s a comedian. Back then they’d politely call him a confirmed bachelor. So the trucking subplot is confusing because he’s supposed to marry this hot waitress named Kinky.

I mean this waitress is wicked hot. She’s played by Roz Kelly from Happy Days. Smoking! The only thing that’s hotter than her is the Peterbilt 359 that Paul Lynde crashes through the wall to stop her from marrying another trucker named Longhaul.

Whoops. Spoiler alert. Read more

Patriots vs. Jets Recap – Week 7 – 2015

There’s just one thing I have to say about today’s Patriots game against the New Jersey Jets. I predicted this.


Patriots Prediction vs Jets – Week 7 – 2015

Special Teams! It’s all about Ryan Allen today! The peterbilt keys to the game: Ryan Allen needs to drop his punt on the one yard line.

The Difference Between Trump and Romney

Donald trump debate tweet

Donald Trump dictates the debate terms.

Guys, Donald Trump sent out a tweet last week that pretty much summed up the difference between him and Mitt Romney. Donald Trump said, “The @GOP should not agree to the ridiculous debate terms that @CNBC is asking unless there is a major benefit to the party.” Read more

Happy Back to the Future Day, Donald Trump!


(image via b3ta user barryheadwound)

Donald Trump or Biff Tannen?


Colts fake punt fail – 2015

Guys, I pretty much predicted the Colts’ fake punt fail. Watch my prediction video. I said the colts weren’t there to win. Yea, the players want to play well. Sure, the players are talented. But the ownership and managment want to embarass the patriots.

Watch the fake punt fail itself. The 9 players lined to the right made no effort to salvage the play at all. They gave up. There’s no use trying when the coaches call dumb plays and the owners don’t have your back.

Truth goes together with Justice, which goes together with faithfulness.

Lies go with injustice and treachery.

Deflategate was false accusations, aka lie, created to launch an injustice. Would you play for a team that goes that route?

Patriots Prediction vs Colts – Week 5 – 2015

guys, I made this bold prediction for the patriots game against the colts. It’s a statement prediction. I really made a bold statement.

It went up on youtube on sunday, but I’ll share it here now. the kept me busy at work so I couldn’t publish it here earlier. so if you’re on youtube, subscribe to my channel so you see the youtube vids even before they appear on www.feedingjimmy.com!

Faith is not the opposite of reason.


faith vs reason

Does faith stand contrary to reason?

Faith is not the opposite of reason. I’m sick and tired of atheists on Twitter pitting faith against reason. 

They act like intellectual giants because they reject religion. They say that rather than put their faith in religion, they will use reason. You know. Like science and stuff.

Okay. Well, let me explain what atheists fail to understand about faith and reason. It highlights the deliciously ironic fatal flaw of atheists.  Read more

Car Seats for Hillary Clinton

Hillary clinton car seats

Hillary Clinton, visibly angry that Donald Trump prevents free car seats.

Guys, I’m going to make a bold prediction right here. I predict car seats will become a topic of debate among Democrats vying for the presidential nomination.

Right now a lot of you are chortling. “Pfft! Car seats?!”

Yea, car seats. You know, like for babies. Well, it used to just be for babies. But now infants, toddlers, adolescents, preteens, and even short teenagers need to sit in booster seats while riding in the car. Read more