Did Windmills Cause the Delaware Earthquake?

Delaware Earthquake

Did windmills cause the 4.1 magnitude earthquake that hit Delaware this Thursday, November 30, 2017? Dagum, I hope so. I want all those windmills torn down.

The Delaware Online characterized the seismic event as unusual in an article entitled ‘This is wild,’ USGS says of Dover 4.1 earthquake:

A geophysicist, Cheng Shengzao, with the USGS, said the East Coast quake was surprising.

“This is wild. It’s not often that this happens,” Shengzao said.

A 3.3 magnitude earthquake hit just east of Dover in 1879, according to the Delaware Geological Survey.

Gee, earthquakes don’t happen often in Delaware. Can we blame fracking? No. Due to a slump in oil price, the Marcellus Shale Gas Formation has seen a steep decline in fracking activity. But the windmill construction boom continues unabated. Read more

How I cook Peanut butter and Cranberry Sauce sandwiches

How I cook Peanut butter and Cranberry Sauce sandwiches

Science was wrong about fat.

ScienceWasWrongAboutFat

For all human history human beings have eaten fat. We’ve thrived doing so. We’ve spread out over the earth while eating fat. Everywhere we’ve gone we’ve encountered animals who also eat fat. This has been going on for a long time. You know, since like day 6.

Then all of a sudden in the 20th century Science declares that fat is bad for you. Science commands any animal who has will power over what he eats, which is only humans, to stop eating fat. Read more

Wellesley Chicks Terrorized by Trump Flag

The Boston Globe reported that CIS male Babson students (a microaggression) drove around the Wellesley college campus in a pickup truck (a microaggression ) waving a Trump flag… a MEGA AGGRESSION!!!!

By the way, the Globe authors of this article presume the gender of the entire Wellesley college by calling it an “elite all-women campus.” It’s not just women. Genders at Wellesley run the full gamut — except for CIS male. 

First they blamed Fracking for earthquakes. Now they blame Injection Wells.

pawnee earthquake grocery store

Photo by Paul Hellstern, The Oklahoman. Used without permission.

Liberals want to blame the oil and gas industry for the Oklahoma earthquake swarm. But in doing so they expose their own ignorance. Again.

First they threw around the word fracking. It was an easy accusation to make. Fracking caused the Oklahoma earthquakes. The word fracking just sounds so nasty. Fracking. It’s like a swear word almost. You could substitute it for the f-word at Bible camp.

And anyone with a cursory knowledge of drilling for oil would know that fracking is short for hydraulic fracturing. It’s where they pump water and sand down a hole to break open rocks underground to extract oil.

So it’s an easy conclusion for the ignorant to jump to. Of course hydraulically fracturing rocks underground causes earthquakes!

The problem is it doesn’t. Read more

The Fracking Oil Boom is over! Why are there still earthquakes in Oklahoma?

Pawnee Earthquake Damage by J Berry Harrison III

Earthquake destruction in Pawnee Oklahoma. Thanks, windmills. (image via J Berry III)

 

Today a 5.6 magnitude earthquake struck Oklahoma, centered in Pawnee county, and was felt in several states. This earthquake caused a huge problem, not for dilapidated trailer-hoods or endangered prairie chickens, but for tree-hugging liberals.

The Oil Boom is over! Why are there still earthquakes in Oklahoma?

They blamed fracking for the Oklahoma Earthquake Swarm that began in 2009. But now crude oil sits under $50 a barrel. Nobody’s fracking! Read more

Who takes the gallbladder from a dead bear? A Chinese. 

The drudge report has a link up that says Bear Found with Paws, Gallbladder Removed on CA Freeway…

Drudge put it up because it’s one of those bizarre news stories. You read it and are like who in the world would cut off a gallbladder and paws from a dead bear beside the road?

A Chinese! That’s who.

According to CBS Los Angeles, Caltrans and the California Fish and Wildlife are treating it like a crime. A serious crime. Read more

Is Chipotle healthier than a fried burrito?

  
Is Chipotle healthy? You know, like compared to a fried burrito?

Stupid question, right? Chipotle is fresh-mex! They only use the finest, organic, all-natural ingredients. They don’t fill their burritos with processed foods and deep fry them.

Okay. So, follow-up question. What’s the opposite of healthy?

Sick. Right?

So how can you tell me Chipotle is healthy when so many people got sick eating there? Read more

Did fracking cause the San Ramon California Earthquake Swarm?

 

san ramon earthquake swarm

San Ramon California Earthquake swarm of 2015 (via usgs.gov)

 
When an earthquake swarm hits Oklahoma, liberals blame fracking. But when an earthquake swarm hits Northern California, what do liberals blame? Windmills? Read more

Why Skyscrapers don’t cause earthquakes but Windmills do.

  
Why do windmills cause earthquakes but not skyscrapers? A lot of people asked that question when I first postulated the sail push theory of windmill-caused earthquakes. Read more

I can’t believe the Patiots lost

pats
I cannot believe the Patriots lost! Where is justice? Is there any justice here on earth when a team a noble as the New England Patriots suffers the scorn of scoundrels and the slander of bitter fools? Read more

Windmills Cause Earthquakes

480px-Windfarm_112

Windmills cause earthquakes. That’s the bold statement I made in a recent bombshell article that made the rounds and generated a lot of buzz.

Lots of people took to the comments to pish-posh the idea that windmills could generate enough force to move the earth’s crust. They said I should go back to school and learn science so I’d join them in blaming fracking.

Hold on there! Why am I stupid for thinking something man-made such as windmills cause earthquakes but you’re a genius for concluding that the made-made act of fracking does the same?

Look, I can make a powerful argument about how windmills cause earthquakes. I can back it up with charts, maps, and data. What I don’t have is a huge government grant to fund my research. But with help from feedingjimmy.com readers, we can create a barrage of sensationalistic and misleading headlines on social media to vilify the windmill industry.

But is it true? Do windmills actually cause earthquakes?

It doesn’t matter. I made the accusation. Now it’s up to them to disprove it. And until they do, we need to shut down all windmill construction. That’s the way it works, guys.

Anyways, here’s my plausible windmill-earthqake theory. Read more

Cheap Chicken Friday Video #FBF

It’s Friday, Friday, Cheap Chicken Friday!

This Flashback Friday, we’re flashing back to my parody video of Rebecca Black’s youtube sensation Friday. It stars Stop & Shop’s Rotisserie chickens for $5.00 each.

This could never be on throw back thursday by definition. Read more

Howard Stern’s new deal and the pathetic state of Internet Radio

Howard Stern Howard Stern didn’t go to Internet Radio — or loser podcasts! (image via Bob Norton)

Howard Stern made big news in the radio world last week when he finally signed a new deal with SiriusXM in the waning moments of his previous contract. The noteworthy aspect of the deal was not the money, which was reported to be like $80 million over 5 years or something. It was the pathetic role internet radio played in the negotiations. Read more

I listened to innumerable accidents in Denver on AM radio KOA.

Guys, I have another dispatch from my long distance AM radio adventures. Last night as I rolled up route 18 in New Mexico heading into Hobbs, I locked on to 850 KOA out of Denver, and I heard something I haven’t heard for a long time out of a radio: a traffic report. Read more

Chilling predictions about the Clintons from Art Bell show in 1996. 

Guys, I’m sitting here in Artesia, New Mexico waiting on standby. I’m just doing some distance AM listening to kill the time and I pulled in 1110 KFAB from Omaha, Nebraska.

Amazing right? But not only did I pull in a broadcast from a long distance, I got a show from a long time ago. 
They’re playing Art Bell’s Somewhere in Time, which rebroadcasts episodes from the radio hall-of-famer’s archives. 
Today the rebroadcast was from a show originally aired in June 1996 in the midst of the Ken Star investigation. The guest was Rodger Morris, the author of Partners in Power, about Mr. and Mrs. Clinton. He and Mr. Bell recounted the rise to power and the criminal activities of the Clintons. Then they opined about the future of the couple and wondered if they could escape conviction and win reelection. 
What an amazing time capsule! You’d just have to listen to the show yourself. On one hand you laugh at the naive sentiment we held twenty years ago, but you also cringe at the disasters we were walking right into.  Read more

Who do Atheists thank on Thanksgiving?

Indian Illegal Immigrants

Fairness is a warped sense of justice. (image via)

Who do atheists thank on Thanksgiving? Someone asked me that and actually I kinda answered that in my post, Okay, you’re thankful, but to whom?

Without God, Thanksgiving is an absurd holiday. Read more

I saw a Black Friday fight at Walmart

blackfriday fight

source: tumblr

Guys, we were all so bored today that we decided to take a trip to Walmart where I saw a fight over merchandise. Yup. A fight.

My son PhilPhil ran up to a box filled with giant Mickey Mouses (selling at a roll back price of $20 each.) He grabbed one, then his little brother Baby Beebaw (aka Brian) wanted the same one.

Baby Beebaw was like, “Mine! Mine! No, Mine!” and tried to grab the Mickey Mouse that PhilPhil had.

Why he wanted that specific one, I don’t know. The box had at least 15 other ones.

So they started fighting.

My first thought was to get out my cell phone camera to take a video of a screaming two year old fight his four year-old brother for a giant Mickey Mouse plush toy.

But then I was like, no, if I could somehow get them to fight over a flatscreen, it might get more views on Youtube.

It didn’t matter anyways. The fight fizzled out before I could roll film. It’s like sensory overload there. They found some other things to run over to and dropped the Mickey Mouse on the floor.

#BlackFriday 2015

Black Friday 2015

Better get yours before they get you!

Black Friday 2015. I’m sitting here in my secure surplus military bunker as the carnage unfolds at our nation’s walmarts. This bunker has wifi, so I’m able to access drudgereport.com to stay updated on the Black Friday casualties. It’s like a tradition around here.

Kids, stop running around the bunker! Or I’ll send you to Walmart to buy a flatscreen!

Guys, remember what your Uncle said yesterday at Thanksgiving Dinner? He said, “Welp, today is the day we’re thankful for all we have. Tomorow is the day we fight for what we don’t need.”

Some people right now are like, “How did you know my Uncle said that. You weren’t there.”

Guys, your uncle says that every thanksgiving. Every uncle says that every thanksgiving.

But nobody says it better than America’s Uncle, Eddie Fitzgerald. On his blog, Uncle Eddie’s Theory Corner, he has a picto-cartoon storyboard-script about Black Friday. Check it out here.

So happy Black Friday, everyone. Get your flatscreen before you get flattened!

Okay, you’re thankful. But to whom?

George Washington's Thanksgiving Proclamation of 1789

George Washington’s Thanksgiving Proclamation of 1789 (via mountvernon.org)

Happy Thanksgiving, guys. I hope you’re having a good time with your friends and family. Perhaps you’re rattling off all the things you’re thankful for. That’s what this holiday is all about, right? To be thankful. And thankfully, we don’t need to think too hard to come up with a cornucopia of wonderful things that we Americans enjoy.

I just got one question. To whom are you thankful?

You grammar police are thankful I phrased this question correctly. I said “to whom are you thankful?” rather than “who are you thankful to?” Well, with that, I’m thankful I don’t have the grammar police harping on me right now.

So let’s continue using correct grammar, shall we? Read more